Get Over The G-Spot

In my new article about the G-spot at Alternet, I dare to question whether the whole thing’s been a tad over-hyped. There has been so much focus on whether or not the G-spot exists that no one has asked whether it’s really all that important. Does all the G-spot hype resurrect the vaginal vs. clitoral “real sex” stimulation (i. e. penis penetration) that I thought disappeared with Freud?

Here’s an excerpt. Read the entire article at Alternet.

Once again, sex experts are arguing over women’s sexuality, and as usual they ignore what women actually say about their sexual arousal and orgasms. This time, English and French sex experts are grousing over whether or not women have the fabled G-spot. The English say no and the French say yes, prompting a commenter on the blog Pandagon to describe the peek-a-boo games the G-spot plays with sex researchers as Schrödinger’s G-spot: “It both exists and doesn’t exist at the same time and the act of observing it changes it.”

The real question is not whether or not the G-spot exists. Frankly, who the hell cares? If a woman has a G-spot, more power to her, but putting pressure on a woman to stick her fingers deep inside and find that Magic 8-Ball only makes her feel insecure if she can’t locate it. The G-spot debates have resurrected age-old denigration of female sexuality, especially of the clitoral stimulation all women need in order to feel sexual arousal and to achieve orgasm. As usual, women’s experiences and needs are ignored, this time in favor of publishing papers, getting professional and media attention, and especially selling products designed to assist women in reaching the Big O – preferably from G-spot stimulation.

Hey, everyone! This is Elizabeth Black from the blog The Countess, and I’m here to write about sex. My real name is Trish Wilson and some of you may already know me, but I write about sex, erotica, erotic romance, and relationships with the pseudonym Elizabeth Black. I live on the Massachusetts coast a few blocks from the ocean with my husband and four cats.


  1. Caroline Heldman says:

    Excellent post on this topic. Ann Koedt wrote an article in 1970 called “The Myth of the G Spot” where she writes that Freud is the father of this myth which serves to promote heterosexual, vaginal sex. She also cites a study finding that the vagina has very few nerve endings so only 14% of women even know when this tissue is being touched! Regardless of what parts of our body we women might find erotic, the clitoris is the primary site of orgasm (where the physical response takes place). Accepting this fact would threaten the primacy of (penile) penetration. It would also make sex a lot more pleasurable for women because the clitoris couldn’t be ignored!

  2. Amy Williams says:

    Interesting post! An examination of medical literature that was produced in 1950s could also account for the “over-hyped” nature of the vaginal orgasm (or the origins of it, anyway). Freud is the first to identify clitoral orgasms as “infantile,” but it was psychiatrist-gynecologists like Dr. William Kroger, Dr. Charles Freed and others who seemed to pathologize the clitoral orgasm. They were quite vocal in their definition of “frigidity” as a woman’s inability to have a vaginal orgasm with her husband. This was a “problem” (because “good,” “mature” sex was vital to the stability of the family as a moral center) that could be “cured” through counseling, through sex coaching, or other forms of psychotherapy.

  3. Thanks for the great responses. I know that some women do talk about enjoying their G-spots (I’m one of them), and I think that’s great. But I won’t allow myself to think that a G-spot orgasm is so much better (and more “real” – read focused on penile penetration) than a clitoral orgasm. I’ve read about some women who squirt when they have G-spot orgasms. It’s hard to tell how much of that is myth or mistaking lots of fluid for squirting or if some women really do squirt. Could be all three. As far as I’m concerned, any way a woman enjoys sex is fine by me. As long as her focus is on her pleasure and not on pleasing some man or thinking of “real” sex as involving only penile penetration, I’m all for it. Then there is the commercial aspect of the G-spot. Complete disclosure time here: I work for several sex toys companies and I have written positive reviews of G-spot sex toys. That said, I like to see women enjoy all aspects of their sexuality and that includes the G-spot.

  4. Honestly, I wish these sex researchers would find other things to worry about, other than “legitimizing” the correct form of sex we’re supposed to enjoy.

  5. As a women, if you haven’t found your “G-Spot”, who the f*ck cares? Are you satisfied with the sex you’re having WITH your partner? If you are then great, if not, maybe HE is the problem, not you. Maybe his d*ck isn’t long enough, wide enough, hard enough, too hard, too long, too wide, too curved, not curved enough…maybe he doesn’t get you wet enough…maybe he can’t stay hard long enough…maybe you’ve been in the same damn position for too much time, maybe you don’t even like doggystyle. G-Spot is irrelevant.

    And Elizabeth, you’re spot on: Men are frightened by the fact that maybe we can get ourselves off better alone, or with another woman–via clitoral stimulation. It threatens their “manhood.” You know the whole “emasculation” bullshxt. You know how weak their egos can get when you tell them they are not f*cking you right. Maybe just maybe, the vagina is for having babies, solely.

    On another note, I’ve always thought those squirting women were pissing on themselves.

  6. I meant, as women, or as a woman. I hate gram errors and typos!!

  7. I agree, ‘who the hell cares’ if women have a G-Spot or not. For the most part we all know our bodies well enough to know how to get the job done with er by ourselves or with a partner. Even inexperienced women know what feels good as it is happening…so who cares WHERE it feels best. Not all women are the same and therefore there is no magic one spot that feels the best or works the best.

    Thanks for the great article!

  8. It’s interesting to read about the g-spot debate from a woman’s perspective because it’s been dominated by men, telling women what they should be feeling, where and why. Sadly, this concern has become profitable for the plastic surgery industry who, cashing in on the insecurity women may feel about this part of their body and about sex, perform procedures that enlarge it, promising to provide women with the mind-altering orgasms we’re led to believe stimulating the g-spot will give us. I wrote about it a little while ago here,

  9. “The real question is not whether or not the G-spot exists. Frankly, who the hell cares?”

    Sex researchers? Medical researchers? People who want to know more about their bodies, or their partners’ bodies, or just bodies in general?

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