Letter to Elin Nordegren

Dear Elin,

We just heard that Tiger will be back on the golf course for the Masters in early April. You know, the tournament held at that club in Augusta, Ga., that doesn’t allow women members.

How do you feel about your husband’s return to work? We were happy that you weren’t standing by your man on the day of his 12-step atonement press conference. We imagine you have been taking care of yourself and your children instead. While we have heard so much about Tiger, we mostly wondered how you are doing. We know you have plenty of money, that Alice Walker has written you and your children a letter and that you have family that supports you. But still.

While the media has let us know that the people making money off of Tiger felt betrayed, and that the women he had affairs with felt betrayed,  there has been little space to attend to your betrayal–which should have been private but now cannot be. The particularity of your pain is not honored. Somehow, the corporate betrayal has trumped yours, and since we all “know” your husband from his famous public persona, our voyeuristic culture has somehow equated your sadness with our own.

Meanwhile, at your husband’s press conference, he looked so sad, so lost, so repentant–one might have thought that he had killed all those women, not simply slept with them. As he continued to talk, we kept thinking, “Imagine if real killers came on television and repented? Imagine Bush and Cheney having to appear on the screen after having spent a month in round-the-clock therapy to help them deal with the enormity of their war crimes?” But no, those who systematically plot the killings of  thousands of people are rarely held as accountable as even a cheating spouse.

No matter how we might personally feel about your husband’s behavior, Elin, we watched with increasing discomfort as the media and his sponsors went from deeming him a chosen one to treating him as a predator. Such punishment for indiscretions reveal that racism is still with us, and you and your multiracial toddlers are caught in the middle of all of this.

From where we sit, the person Tiger needs to apologize to is you, then perhaps to your children when they are older and perhaps also to the women he bedded–but then again,they are all adults, made their own choices and knew he was married. If anything, they may have some amends to make to you. It is still unclear to us whether the male public, at least, wanted to punish Tiger for getting caught or for the acts themselves; so many men continue to consume women at their pleasure that they could not have appreciated having a high-profile man take such a fall for doing what they perhaps might wish to do themselves..

Beyond that, it seems to us what matters is whether he still interests you intellectually, whether you feel good about his parenting, whether he is going to be able to let you grow and change and have the life you want. Between now and then, hold onto your last name—Nordegren. It suits you.

Crossblogged on http://tonkathompson.wordpress.com

Photo public domain, courtesy of Wikipedia Commons.

Comments

  1. Catherine M says:

    You know, if he had bedded one woman, then I could see her standing by him. But he bedded multiple women..and we are not talking about 2 or 3. How can one as a woman move beyond that? I cannot speak for her but such betrayal would be too much for me to handle. I think she has to think about what’s best for herself and her children. The Children always come first…Why would you want to stay with a man who does not respect you, your marriage or your family? Elin, do yourself the favor and move on…You deserve so much better than this….

  2. orangepekoe says:

    It’s all none of anyone’s business.

  3. i agree with the authors. elin, keep your business to yourself and make the best decisions for you and your children and then once the healing has seriously begun think about sharing your successes with other women in the same situation. unfortunately, the experiences with infidelity keep increasing.

  4. Is this a letter to Elin, or an opportunistic attempt to convey political ideals? If it’s a letter to Elin about private issues, then write a letter to Elin. Don’t add further insult to her situation by exploiting her as a political platform.

  5. "Such punishment for indiscretions reveal that racism is still with us…"

    I read this as a hasty conclusion as the support for the claim was – in my opinion – lacking.

    Elaboration please?

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