Eager to outdo itself–or finally bored with milk mustaches–the California Milk Processor Board has devised a new ad campaign centered around Mootopia, “a perfect land of beautiful hair, healthy nails and strong muscles.”
These milk-marketing masterminds have decided milk = breasts = beautiful women. The TV ads and online fairy tale depict a fertile paradise where “fresh milk” provocatively “flows like waterfalls” and there are plenty of frolicking milk maids to amuse the strapping milk men. There’s also a Facebook game where players are charged with creating and raising their own little Mootopians (only if they’re qualified to rear “ridiculously good-looking people who positively glow with healthification,” of course).
The thin-armed milk maidens lounge on the lake’s shores, sucking milk through reedy straws, taking long milky showers, and suffering the consequences of their too-shiny hair:
…while their male cohorts arm-wrestle to impress a bored blonde:
Clearly, even in utopias–or ‘mootopias’–racist and sexist norms still hold. The men are brawny, the women are idle, and skin is the color of cool, sweet milk.
Discontented Mootopians ready to voice their outrage at the California Milk Processor Board can e-mail email@example.com