Ladies, do you feel like your car isn’t the right fit for you? Are you tired of testosterone-tainted colors such as black, blue or silver? Do the complicated controls and audio system confuse you? Do you even know where those are?
Then girl, here’s the right car for you: Honda Fit She’s, like a new purse on wheels. Praise! Finally there is a car made for women and women only! Sure, you have to fly to Japan to get one, but it’s worth it!
The Honda Fit She’s is a sleek and sexy beast of a machine that came out exclusively this summer. Like other Honda Fits, She’s is a 4-door, 5-passenger family sedan equipped with the standard 1.5-liter, 117-horsepower engine that achieves 27 mpg in the city and 33 mpg on the highway.
But enough of that mumbo jumbo– this is the best part: it comes in PINK! Yes, the only women’s color, pink will finally let you celebrate your femininity on the road. Before, you probably had to suffer the atrocity of having people mistake you for a man and call you things such as “broseff” or “dude.” Our delicate hands couldn’t master the wheel, and our poor feet could barely reach the gas pedal. Driving a “He” car was exhausting. Thankfully, Honda has recognized women problems and graced us with a vehicle more in tune with our menstrual cycles.
What is more, Honda pulled out all the stops to make sure that She’s is pretty in pink and “adult cute” as the designers say:
1. She’s interior matches its exterior–complete with pink stitching in the seats, steering wheel and floor mats with matching pink metallic bezels around the shifters and displays.
2. She’s features a “Plasmacluster” climate control system that Honda claims can improve skin quality.
3. She’s has a windshield that cuts 99 percent of ultraviolet rays–to prevent wrinkles, of course!
4. “She’s” emblem includes a heart in place of the apostrophe.
5. If the buyer does not prefer pink (abomination!), Honda Fit She’s also comes in shades of brown and white, which a Honda executive told the Yomuri Shinbun newspaper matches the color of eye shadow.
Let’s just say that if Barbie had a car, she would probably drive this one.
Now this isn’t just any Dodge LaFemme, Pontiac Parisienne, Chevrolet Impala Martinique or Cadillac Eldorado Seville Baroness, ladies. No, this is a state-of-the-heart vehicle for the 21st century, with a starting price $17,500. Start saving your pin money! Sure, it does seem unfair that only the Japanese get to enjoy the perks of this pink car. And never mind that Japan ranks 101 out of 135 countries in the last Global Gender Gap Report–we Western dames need a car to make sure we stay in our rightful places, too.
All I want to do is to put on my Betty Crocker apron, hop into the Honda Fit She’s and blast “Pink Cadillac” by Bruce Springsteen while driving to the supermarket. Is that too much to ask?