In a turn of events that shocked pro-choice and anti-abortion activists all over the nation, Gov. Jack Dalrymple of North Dakota announced he does not approve of a fetal personhood amendment, which would ban almost all abortions in the state. In his own words:
When I signed the measure into law I was pretty confused. I thought I was signing a law that allowed people in North Dakota to own calico kittens. I’m really sorry about that, but I’m not sure why anyone would think I wanted to control women by telling them they can’t make decisions about their own bodies. That would be totally rude.
The measure was signed into law by the governor on Tuesday, and North Dakota senators initially praised Dalrymple’s decision. But are now not entirely sure how to react. Said State Rep. Bette Grande said,
He had to sign three different anti-abortion bills, so I can’t understand how he didn’t realize they weren’t about cats. The calico cat stickers we put next to the lines he needed to sign probably didn’t help. I guess that explains why he signed the bills in less than 24 hours.
Despite Dalrymple’s apology, the measure has passed into law, and next year a referendum on personhood will appear on state ballots. Since both Kansas and Ohio are currently considering similar personhood measures, Dalrymple warns other governors not to make the same mistake he made.
“Don’t accidentally create any laws that take away women’s rights,” Dalrymple said in a prepared statement to the governors of Ohio and Kansas. “Trust me, a lot of people will be mad at you.”
Ms. regrets that this post is only an April Fools’ joke. Photo of Gov. Jack Dalrymple by Jacob Wieber, courtesy of Wikimedia Commons