25 Women Share Alarming Stories of Childhood Sexual Abuse

After a federal inquiry into sexual violence in U.K. schools was announced this week, Everyday Sexism founder Laura Bates created a hashtag, #WhenIWas, to encourage women to share their stories of early sexism. Women responded in droves, and #WhenIWas is now a virtual battleground filled with women’s stories of sexual harassment and abuse.

Sadly, as Twitter users pointed out, women experience this kind of harassment from such a young age that many stop recognizing it as inappropriate or illegal. Indeed, research show that 85 percent of U.S. women have been sexually harassed in some way by age 17 and, as UltraViolet pointed out, most survivors will never see justice. That’s why campaigns like this one are so important—by talking about widespread sexual harassment and abuse, we ensure that survivors aren’t silenced and traumas aren’t ignored.

If anyone ever asks why the world still needs feminism, just show them this list.

(TRIGGER WARNING)

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Front page photo courtesy of Flickr user 55Laney69 licensed under Creative Commons 2.0

Comments

  1. This year was my first year of high school, I grew up in a really strict Christian household and I’m not allowed to date. I don’t know if it matters or not but I have severe depression and anxiety and I’ve never had much self confidence so this year I met a guy in my homeroom and started talking to him when we had English together. We got really close and started sorta “dating”. He seemed so respectful and kind and he treated me like a goddess telling me I was beautiful and he loved me so much. After a while I got more comfortable and started flirting more (before we started “dating”) so then when we were in English one day he started running his hand up and down my leg. I was trying so hard not to make any noise and made direct eye contact with the teacher while trying to push his hand off my leg. He kept going and I looked over and whispered “please stop” until he did. This went on for weeks until we started walking to class together. We would always hold hands and hug but it was very innocent and cute. Then one day I went to hug him and he grabbed my waist and pulled me in. I put my arms between us and tried to push away and told him to stop but he pulled me closer and tighter and tried to kiss me, I panicked and started pushing away. He grabbed my butt and I begged him to stop. He finally let go and I walked as fast as I could to gym, I barely spoke to anyone. On the second to last day of school we were in a stairwell with some of my friends waiting for the bus like usual and he pushed me against the wall. He started kissing my neck and pushed his body against me while grabbing my butt. I whispered stop to him and almost started crying but he got closer and more aggressive. Our buses finally got there and he let go, my friends acted like they didn’t see anything even though I had tears in my eyes. I went home and hurt myself because I blamed myself for what happened. I knew I had no one to go to and I cried for 4 hours straight until my family got home. I tried to talk to my mom about her day but then she got mad at me for crying and yelled at me when she saw my scratched up back (I don’t cut) she yelled and told me I was lucky my dad didn’t see it. I cried another 3 hours until I fell asleep. Then the next day in English I was wearing a dress because it was my last day of public school and I wanted to look my best for pictures with friends. He sat next to me while we were watching Romeo and Juliet and started kissing my side. I just stared at the tv screen remebering the day before and trying not to cry because of the pain of my back. He then tried to pull my top down and grab me. I told him to stop and after a lot of quiet convincing he did. He then moved his hand down and pulled my side close to him and bit me. I gasped and he thought I liked it. Then he put his hand on my thigh and tried to pull my skirt up. I grabbed my skirt and tried to keep it down but he just tried to look up it. He kept trying to pull up my skirt and put his hand between my legs. I held his hand and asked him to to stop saying “please don’t… stop” but he grabbed me between the legs. I went the entire class asking him not to do things to me but he did anyways. I have never felt more alone and unsure about things. I feel like now that he has been that close to me I can’t leave because he knows too much and I would be seen as a slut. A few days ago he was telling me that women are only good for cooking cleaning, sex and sucking(receiving their husband’s stress). I didn’t know what to do or say. I still don’t. I could never tell my family this so I’m sorry for the long text but I had a lot I wanted to get off my chest.

    • please please please break up with him. he doesn’t respect you or any other woman as an actual person, an is manipulating the situation I make you afraid and unsure of yourself so he can take advantage of you. he is literal scum, and I know it can be hard to do, but PLEASE, leave him whilst you still can. his behaviour is not okay, and you deserve so much better. it is not your fault. be strong.

    • You don’t have to stay with him, he does not own you, you are your own person you always will be. your body is yours and he has no right to do what he wants with it, he has no absolute right to do that, and know that if I were there with you and he ever did a thing like that I’d stand up to him, I wouldn’t care who he is where he’s from, he will not disrespect you like that. Please keep strong, I care.

    • Sweetie you need to break up with him. In was in a very similar situation my first year of high school too. And that man did end up raping me twice. I know it’s hard and I get that family doesn’t always listen. But you aren’t alone.

  2. I’m not sure if this is the same but I was young and I was on a bus to my Nans house and this guy was sitting infront of and was acting all friendly and came and sat next and watched me play my iPad but all of a sudden he started rubbing my leg starting at my knee and started moving up my leg I just thought he liked my pants but then he reached my thigh and started and squeezing it and then stopped for a min to look on his phone so I thought everything was good but he put his hand back on my thigh and moved his pinky over my V area and I tried to move but his whole hand was on it and the he moved his other hand over my shoulder and I didn’t know what was going on and he squeezed me tit and put his hand down my top I told him to move his hand and he did but then he moved his hand off my V area and said if you tell anyone I will find you and he put his hand down my pants and I hit his arm away and he ran off the bus.

  3. May Thompson says:

    when i was barely 3 years old i was sexually abused by my grandfather, My mum always told me i had to be nice to people especially men and i had to smile and say i liked things i didnt like. So when my grandfather was around I was polite and as soon as my Dad and mum were put of site he would tell me to sit on his lap and when i did he would rub my legs and slowly make his was up to in between my legs, i just sat still in terror as i was told not to disobey my grandfather, ge would also teach me to lie flat on my back and stretch my legs apart so “something larger” could enter as he put it. I always hated it. by the time i was 10 he was still doing it. i moved out at near 11 and found out i was pregnant. I never told my parents as my dad was arrested for what my grandfather did, He put the blame on my dad. I misscarried that baby, My mum never Knew i faced that all on my own. All my life i have been raped and sexually abused by men all around, I have had 3 miscarrages and 1 still born, My mum doesnt know and my Daddy is still in jail as no one belives me of what had really happened. My mum has never been nice to me and so I left. I am only 16 now and an emotional wreck, I really need help and for some one to Believe me.

    • Hi. I read your story and I’m so so so sorry. You are so young and have so much life ahead of you. I just wanted to make sure where you’re living now, you are at least safe. You don’t have to reply, I don’t expect you to. Just wanted to let you know I read your story and I believe you.

    • I’m so sorry this is happening to you….but you are not alone … I pray that God gives you the courage to speake your truth loud and shame the devil

    • Marilyn lane says:

      I would recommend going to the police and telling them you ran away from a sexually abusive family, especially if you’re homeless/have questionable housing. Bc at least then you’re less likely to suffer sexual abuse again. Try to continue school and get better, also in foster care they will supply therapy. It won’t be great, but it’ll probabaly be better than you have. I’m so sorry and I hope it gets better for you.

    • Oh my god! …I believe you May!
      I can only imagine what you are going through you poor darlin, and all on your own.
      Have you talked to a councillor or your doctor? Surely they would believe you? I wish I could help you in some way? If you want to talk I can give you my email?
      By the way, my name is Jody and I am 37 years old. I was sexually assulted when I was between 2-4 years old and then again at 7 or 8 however my baby brain blocked it all out for the most part until about 2 years ago when I started remembering bits and pieces after I escaped from an abusive relationship.
      Just thought I’d give you a bit of background so you know I could at least sort of relate to you. And also so you knew I was acutely genuine, not some weirdo tying to harass you :/

    • Oh Baby…. You are one of the strongest women out here. Sharing your story with the world is a big thing…. Just remember who you actually are and love yourself. You are amazing and I am pretty sure that all your mother will be very proud of tou one day
      ĺ

    • Sarah Taetzsch says:

      I believe you. Try to talk about it with people you trust. You are loved.

    • I believe you and there are people who will listen to you and help.you out there. Please look online for organisations or call the crisis hotline and ask for help.

    • Angelina Harmon says:

      I believe you! Be strong and become something in this life. You deserve happiness. Do it for you. I realate to your story. Peolple think I wanted the abuse, but they don’t understand. You have to go on and live your life and be happy. Not everyone is bad. Trust your instincts about everybody and survive accordingly. God don’t give us situations we can’t handle. I personally believe I’m strong and believe you are as well because you are putting your story out there for people to relate and overcome. Your voice has power and I believe in you. Please in yourself and have a long and happy life with a family you created and raised with loyalty and respect. I am raising a child that is a product of rape from the age of 14 from my stepfather. I never looked at my son or the situation as a pity me situation. I said everything in this life happens for a reason. I watched my step father hold a shotgun under his chin and stopped him because I thought to myself why let him end his misery when he deserves to live in misery of his own actions for the rest of his life, I was 9yrs. Old at that point. It took me until right before statue of limitations was up without knowing to come forward and put him in jail without even knowing about statue of limitations. Be strong and spread your story as you can change lives. I’m proud of you.

  4. When I was about 5 or 6 years old my mom’s youngest brother took my virginity. I had just got out of foster care and was sleeping in my grandma’s room… I was wearing a big t shirt and under ware.. He can home and got in bed with new, my grandma was on the couch… He whispered to me to go to sleep because I had school in the morning… So I rolled over and tried to go to sleep.. He put his hand in my under ware and starting touching my vagina, It hurt so bad.. He got up and went to a corner and started playing with himself ..I got up and ran to my grandma on the couch.. I said Nana I have to tell you something she said what and I said never mind .. This happened until I was 10 … I went and told my mother after he started putting his mouth on my vagina… I still have dreams about it… He is now a police officer … Nobody ever did anything to help me.. My mom and grandma day everyone gets touched when they are little so I needed to get over it like they did.. They and like it Bennett happened.

  5. Confidential says:

    When I was 3 years old my brother started touching me inappropriately. He would watch porn and make me sit on his lap. He would touch me and put his mouth in places that I didn’t understand at the time, in fact I didn’t understand entirely what was even happening. He would hit me if I resisted and he threatened me… he said if I told I would be the one who was in trouble. When I was around 9 or 10 I told my other brothers. Instead of helping or protecting me they just did the same thing. One of the 2 realized it was wrong and stopped a year later. The other made me play games and enjoyed my struggle. I fought with him to buy time waiting for someone to come home. I didn’t tell my parents and I was determined not to. I was so ashamed and I still am to this day that I hadn’t told them. Then the brother who loved to play games and enjoyed hours of struggling and fighting went off to the military. He’s a marine now. By the age of 14 all abuse had stopped due to the brother becoming a marine and the other brother moving out. I live in fear in my own house. I decided to tell my parents. I only told them about the one brother who had started abusing me when I was 3. I didn’t give them the details. They did nothing and said I waited too long and for me to not tell anyone what happened. I still live in shame and am trying to overcome what I’ve been through. I don’t want justice or help. I just want to not feel ashamed and to accomplish my goals in life. I don’t care if my parents believe me I’m only sharing my story because I’ve seen now that there are many people who have gone through awful things as well. I want them to know that they should find their goal and work to accomplish it. I can’t change my past but I can ensure my future. It’s sad this happens to so many women and no one helps. We are still powerless even with the right to vote and do all of the amazing things we fought for. But we can’t feel safe in our own homes. I’m 15 years old right now. It’s been a year and I can be considered more intelligent than thousands of adults. The world needs to change.

    • My brother did something very similar to me for 4 years. Im 15 also. So far I have only told my two closest friends about 3 days ago. Im starting to realize that what happened to me wasnt normal. If you want to talk Im here. Just message me or something.

  6. When I was 6 my step brother who was like 23 or something came an layed next to me he always did that so It was normal. He would let me play on his phone or he would ask about my day an then leave. He was always so nice to me. On that night though he didnt leave, usually he would leave once I fell asleep. But this time he stayed. I was closing my eyes but I wasnt really sleeping. That Night he pulled down my underwear an put his mouth on my vagina. I was scared so I just kept pretending to sleep. I was frozen. That continued every night for a year. Until I finally told my mom an I never saw him again. Last I heard he has two small daughters, their in my prayers. That wasnt my only experience though it happened again when I was about 9 by My step dad My step brothers dad. He started touching me one night in my sleep. And one day he squeezed my butt but then it stopped so I didnt say anything but my behavior was changing so my mom asked if everything was okay and I bursted oout crying an I told her, she said that it was my fault since I shouldve told her and that I was dumb because It happend to me before and I shouldve learned to tell right away. That hurt so much to hear. An to top it off she stayed with him an I had to live with him for about 3 more years after that an the more I aged the more disgusting things he would say to me. Like Nice ass, Or I bet my dick would fit nicely in you. I was about 10 when he said that. Why must the people in your life you trust the most have to be the most likely to ruin you. Forever. Im 12 btw that was 2 years ago

    • Kassandra Benitez says:

      I’m so sorry you went through that honey, god knows i understand your pain.. beleive me you are not the only one who has been sexually abused that way. When i was 6-7 years old my own father molested me twice in the same bed i’d sleep with him when i was younger, i didn’t meet my actual dad until i was about 4 years old after who got out of jail. I was living with him in a garage with nothing in it, through out the years my father got a bed that i could sleep on so i would because he’s my dad i’d never thought he’d do this but he took me to the restroom one time & put his fingers in my vagina. I asked him what he was doing & he said to not look it’s gonna fine or whatever. The second time i was playing my gameboy i beleive i was laying down & he did it again he put his fingers in me. nobody ever found out, i never said anything. I was so naive & clueless when i was younger my father never taught me one thing about growing up. i don’t remember why i didn’t say anything, but through out the years as i grew up my dad became more & more aggressive & abusive he’d beat me all the time when he was mad or i assume just having a bad day. He used to leave me hurtful voicemail because i wouldn’t come home some days because he was crazy that i was so afraid to even say a word cause he’d slap me so hard, for years i dealt with my father he would treat me so wrong when i was younger as well he ripped all my certificates from school, broke my trophies & ripped apart my gold metals. Grabbed almost all of my clothes & threw it in the trash as he broke glass so i wouldn’t get it out.. this is the crazy part, i had family member who was married to my aunt which is my father’s sister for years they were together, my father lived in the garage that they let him keep to live in, let me tell you this my father was always mentally in another world i assume so my aunts husband took care of me for years when my dad was locked up & my father abandoned me with no explanation when i was only 2 years old. Years went by & my aunts husband one night sexually molested me while i was asleep, i woke up in the middle of the night as i felt someone touching me inappropriately on my vagina as i woke up I gasped for air because i was so shocked i was scared & in fear as i tried figuring out who it was & it was him he was drunk & i could smell the alcohol on his breath. I tried to get up to move & he put his hand over my chest & quietly told me to go back to sleep. The sad thing is that i can’t seem to remember what happened the next day. the worst part is that through out the years it kept happening with this same man, i never knew anything about sex, toys, private parts until he showed me. he knew i was struggling growing up, he knew my father was abusive & my mother never came around. So him, his wife (my aunt) & my uncle (dad’s brother) would help me out & give me money to eat because i didn’t have no job, wasn’t old enough to work. And i never had a stabled home i was always house to house so he would help me & give me money, through out the years i never realized this until now but i’ve realized that he was being muniplulative (if thats how you spell it) he knew i was clueless knew nobody took care of me, so that sick bastard took advantage of me & started touching me alot. He would brive me with stuff like money, food, gifts, toys, just so i wouldn’t say anything. i put this on my own life that for years i told him how wrong & discussed i felt from the things he would make me do. I cried a couple times & talked him & told him how much of a sick pervert he was. he never cared. I don’t know why i trusted him i looked up to him and my aunt as a mother & father. But he took advantage. honestly after the first time he molested me i told myself i wouldn’t sleep on that bed so i would sleep on the floor & he was once came down there for an unknown reason & he showed me his dick & told me to play with it. And i felt really awkward & looked at him strangely & told him my aunt was waking up & he quickly ran away & went back to bed. My aunt & him broke up after a couple years after all that & moved out. Like i said i was going through the horrible things because of my dad. so since i never said anything about it but only because this man told me over 100 times to stay quiet or else this & that. I was so naive & clueless that i beleived everything he told me. when i turned 15-16 i started realizing that i felt uncomfortable being alone by him, even though i’d still conversate with him when i’d go to where my dad lived. I’d only go to see my little brother & sister. It just almost was as if the devil was there but i was to blinded by the truth that i didn’t notice how bad & hurtful it was to see myself going through this & nobody knew it but me. And him of course but obviously he was never gonna say anything. until one day i put my foot down & i told him so many times don’t ever touch me in this ways ever again, because i will end up telling my aun’t he was always said that don’t worry it’s normal, everything is gonna be fine. As i cried & got angry so many times. He told me if i didn’t do it he wouldn’t help me & i was struggling another 15 year old wouldn’t know of. I’d tell him i wasn’t gonna do anything nasty at all & he’d get pissed off & talk shit & say he wasn’t gonna help me. I always felt forced to do it, but until i put my foot down & i told him to stop til but it didn’t stop there he started trying to find other ways to trap me to be honest. by getting me a random car, lying to my aunt saying that i asked him for over 800$ to get me a car when i never asked him to buy me shit, i clearly told him that i’d save money as i was working in colorado to come back home & find me a place so i won’t have to moving house to house or being the street. I never knew how much he was tryna cover his own ass to my aunt until now. little did i know he tried to do pervert nasty shit to me again when i came back & for the car as well may i tell you i was with my man who i am engaged to now. I said fuck no, your never ever direspecting me in any kind of sexual way thats when i told him your a pig after all these years? You still wanna do this to me that’s when i start to realize that men are pigs no matter what & they will do everything to trap or take advantage of your mind & body. Will lie on your name just to back his himself up, i was so angry & i was trying to be the loving niece that i was by not saying anything since he begged me so many times not do. Til i completely realized i am a woman & i will not tolerate this i am only hurting myself so I confessed it to my aunt & this man was blowing up my phone calling me back to back sending texts telling to not say anything please because he loves me & i already had forgave him & how he always tried to help Begging me AGAIN not to say anything & i told him how i felt about him how can someone supposably help you when they are helping you but in the most discusting thing to do to a kid. I even told my mother years ago when i was 14 cried to her asked to please please take me with her & help me because of what those men did to me. You know what she told me? She told me i had to stay there & DEAL WITH IT. I heard that come out of her mouth for years, she took me in for a couple weeks & when i came home one day i told her to open to door & let me in she denied me in alot of ways, ignored my phone calls & just completely left me out in the street & guess who was the only person to bring me back was the sick bastard & having to deal with my fathers abusive ass was the worst. But i finally confessed & make that man admit to what he did & he did. I made him admit it because he wasn’t gonna get away with his lies ever again. i never saw that man again after that day & to tell you truth i feel like i did the right thing. Yes i should have spoke up years ago but knowing the way my father was i couldn’t he’d beat me even harder then he did. And never beleived me at all, so i couldn’t trust anyone. But i’ve learned til this day i am trying to fight & let it all go. Because til this day it is still very traumatizing. I’ll never forget but i’m still looking for the strength to stand strong. And to any other woman who has been through something similar here’s a hug from me too you cause we are very strong.

  7. Wow..the stories I’ve read..I’m 47 and was sexually abused from age 6-10. I didn’t like it but was told I would die if I told. I believed it because my mom was always beat up by him. One time, I took $100 out of his wallet thinking that if he thought I was a thief he would leave. He knew I did it and told me what I needed to do so he wouldn’t tell I stole from him. I said no and he told my mom I stole from him. I was beaten that day for stealing. That’s when I knew I can’t tell anyone. But at 15, I told my mom what happened. She didn’t believe me. I carry my pain everyday. But, I really believe that I can’t let that evil person win. Therapy has helped some and I pray often. Young ladies, please don’t let what has happened to you in the past dictate your future. You are beautiful and worthy of honesty and loyalty. We must not dwell on yesterdays because then we loose out on todays and tomorrows. May God bless and heal you all.

  8. I was 12 when it started, a year after my mother died. He was 24, my step-cousin. It went on for a few years. He introduced me to drugs and took my virginity. I feel a lot of guilt because I never really said no, I just kind of let it happen. I realize now that what he did was wrong, he still claims that I seduced him.

  9. nobodyspecial says:

    I was sexually abused as a child by my teenage uncle when I was six. My mother told me it’s not his fault he was young and didn’t know what he was doing, then it was he’s was on drugs and didn’t know what he was doing. So I was taught that it was my fault it happened. Then my mother denied it ever happened I was a liar. She protected her brother over her daughter. So since it was my fault and a liar I became a whore at the age of 6. I made things worse sleeping around. Now I no longer deserve to be loved. I deserve to be beaten and severely punished for what I have done. Even God can’t forgive me. I’m that disgusting and worthless.

    • That’s not true and that wasn’t your fault hun. It was wrong of your mom to side with her brother. But you aren’t worthless. Nor are you disgusting. That would be your uncle for doing those things to you

    • Moniqa Hough says:

      I know how it is to feel like it’s ur fault. It is not ur fault. My mom chose step father over me to this day. He raped me since I was 7 she didn’t believe me she believed him. I accepted my mom doesnt want to believe me. I am now on a long road to recovery. All I have now is hopefully karma is by my side and brings justice for what he done to me

  10. that is awful and i been through it and still is . i just know better now. my mom told me i was going to marry my rapist. i still deal with it today. i hate life. im glad yall got better

  11. somebodyendthistorture says:

    Right now writing this im 11 btw. I remember when I was little I would go to an after school daycare (at the same school) and I had friends there. This boy who was in a higher grade above me would follow me to the bathroom and touch my private parts. I told him to leave me alone and he would tell me that if I told anyone he could get someone to beat me up. I was scared because he would rub me and put his fingers into me. I said it hurt and he didn’t care. He also taught me how to kiss and date and said I was his girlfriend. Remember that I was in kindergarten and we were both in elementary school. He would grab my butt and touch me and I never really understood what was happening. I told my mom and she told the school who expelled him for awhile and didn’t allow him near me. But he would still pop up and touch me. This seriously messed me up because I didn’t understand and I started going to my cousin (who is a girl) and touching her butt, thinking it was a normal way to greet friends. I got in trouble after that and my mom would talk to me about keeping away from strangers and not letting anyone touch my private parts except for medical purposes. Then a year later in a fish pet store (because my pet fish died) I went into the store with my mom. I was holding her hand behind her then quickly ran to another aisle because the fish tanks were more interesting there. Then as I was walking, a man followed me behind and started touching my hair then slowly going down to my butt. I turned around in shock and horror and ran to my mom. He followed me and pretended to be my father. I told my mom what happened in the car and when we went home, ding dong. He was at the door. He repeatedly tried to get me to open it and he said over and over “this is your mother, father, uncle, cousin, aunt, grandma, grandpa (the list went on) and we all have a present for you”. I pretended to not hear for the fun (because making someone annoyed was funny at the time…) until he told me to open the door and so I told my mom that someone was at the door. And there he was. He was expecting me to open but it was my mom. His smile turned into a frown. And he was looking at me and claimed that he was part of the family and wanted to see me. My mom threatened him getting him into jail. He left. He left after that and I told my mom who he was. We later moved out (not because of him) and moved elsewhere. People didn’t really sexually abuse me, but physically and emotionally. I would be beat up until I was bleeding, my family did nothing and said I was stupid, dumb, a b*tch, motherf*cker, dumb*ss, nothing, and etc. My mind is so messed up now, and I hate myself for letting all of this happening to me. I want to die, I don’t deserve to live, I just deserve to die. 🙁

  12. Hi. This is Very fresh story inside my family. son of my sister try to blackmail my brothers daughter. she reported this to me. when I took Notice of it. everyone inside family ask for proofs and support the boy. Now boy behave like a victim. this happen in a conservative muslim sindhi family of Pakistan.

  13. Anonymous says:

    When i was 5,i was molested my a man in train. He put his hand in between my legs and squeezed for at least 10 minutes. I was too afraid to speak up. And the second one happened now when i am 16 by a young man who grasped by chest and pinched really hard for several times. This time also i remained silent. I am undergoing therapy to overcome these trauma. I am really afraid of guys and tried to attempt suicide by leaping into ponds. I feel very low to my own self.

  14. Anon girl says:

    I have never told this to anyone. When I was 5 or 6 ,i cant really remember, the older brother of my best friend molested me. We were playing hide and seek and we hide in his bedroom. My brother was in the same bedroom. Me and the guy were under sheets and he touched my vagina. I didnt say anything because I didnt realize what was happening back then. When we got out of the bedroom, he asked me where did he touched me, pretending it was an accident and said he thought he was touching my leg. I think my brother who was 7 or 8 knew what was going on, but he never talked about it.
    Now I am 18 years old and sometimes that situation come to my mind and i feel overwhelmed. Ive never told anyone because it wasnt really rape and it was a long time ago.
    I apologise my english, it is not my mother language

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