What’s the “Scoop” About Groping?
March 12, 2010 by Shira Tarrant · 44 Comments
What’s the “scoop” on sexual groping? There is no scoop. Getting felt up or fondled is old news. Ask any girl.
Yet, on March 1, Los Angeles TV station KTLA 5 ran a news story titled “Scooping: Sexual Assault or Schoolboy Prank?” The report:
An 11-year-old Castaic middle school student says she has become part of an alarming new trend called ‘scooping,’ which involves inappropriate touching by fellow students.
As if sexual groping were a new discovery! And as if sexual assault could be misunderstood as a simple prank–a Tom Sawyer/Huck Finn boys-will-be-boys shenanigan!
Sexual assault is never just a prank, and by suggestively framing the issue like this the media becomes part of the problem. We need to call out sexualized groping for what it is, and not hide behind coy language or veiled references about a hand-plant to the breast. And the media should be highlighting the politics of power instead of titillating viewers by focusing on girls’ bodies in sexualized ways.
Castaic school administrators, to their credit, said that they take seriously any unwanted sexual groping. And to KTLA reporter Lu Parker’s credit, she defined “scooping” in sex-specific terms as being when a boy student grabs a girl’s breasts or touches her genitals.
My own recollection of junior high school is filled with memories of running the gauntlet: trying to move through stairways lined with boys groping my breasts and butt as I passed by. Eighth-grade band was traumatically interrupted on a regular basis by the boy who grabbed mine and my best-friend’s boobs as we sat in the flute section. I also had to field inappropriate comments by male administrators and school counselors.
Such everyday assaults teach girls to internalize fear and shame about their bodies, and threaten to inhibit girls’ free movement through the world. “Scooping” tells boys that they can have sexual access to girls’ bodies at will. Girls become women, but the issues of shame and fear, freedom and safety, don’t disappear.
I’m glad such issues are getting play on television, but we need deeper analyses, realistic solutions and answers that go beyond moral outrage. We need news coverage that doesn’t reinforce the problem by sexualizing girls’ bodies. And we need to call out the problem for what it is. Groping sends an early message to boys that they have unrestricted sexual access to female bodies, and that those bodies exist merely to be used by others–instead of for women’s own pleasure and with women’s autonomous consent.
We know what the problems are, so what are the answers? Some of them may be gleaned at the National Sexual Assault Conference in Los Angeles, September 1-3, 2010, hosted by the California Coalition Against Sexual Assault (CALCASA). Or at the 2010 National Conference on Sexual Assault in Our Schools hosted by Safe Society Zone in Atlanta, October 22 to 24. Both will focus on strategies for preventing sexual harassment, which is the only real solution.
So thanks, KTLA! You put this issue on the mainstream radar. Public news reports help break the lingering silence–a silence that is part of the problem.
Photo from http://www.flickr.com/photos/faceme/ / CC BY 2.0
Great article. If news media, parents, and others in positions of authority write things like this off as playful kidding between teens, or the old ‘boys will be boys’ excuse, then boys will feel enabled in their assaults on girls and women. What would stop this sort of behavior if it is depicted in comedic terms or given a paternal wink? Boys will learn that “scooping” or whatever other new form of sexual violation comes along is permissible if it is not treated in a serious manner by media, but also by the men in the lives of these boys. Boys look to male role models for cues on how to behave. We (men) have got to take responsibility for the way we model behavior to our sons, or the cycle of sexism, misogyny, and sexual assault will continue.
reminded me of a funny video http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MXi7sd7HX_8
Right on! I remember middle school boys do the same things to the girls in our choir class. I was always outraged when I would witness these horrible things happen with no school admin taking a stance against it. Props to the Castaic admin!
Thank you Shira! One would think that in a media market like Los Angeles, they would have a reporter who was more knowledgeable than this one who seems to have “discovered” inappropriate touching for the first time. “Scooping” by any other name is still sexual assault. Give me a freaking break. Sexting is indeed new — with new technologies come new issues, but scooping is as old as men’s hands and women’s body parts. Thank you for taking this reporter to task. We seriously need to start a training program for reporters so they stop making idiots out of themselves.
@Jacob — Thanks for pointing out that it matters when the admin gets on board. I always wondered if guys *noticed* what was going on in school. I mean, *really* noticed.
And @James and @Tom — Appreciate your comments!
I agree that we need to focus on solutions. Groping is only one indicator of the problem in our communities — our solutions need to consider how to make social changes so men and boys do not feel entitled to treat women and girls like this.
Today I have been talking with other men about how we can engage more men to join efforts to prevent male violence against women. Let’s find more places to have these conversations that lead to action.
Shira,
Thanks for highlighting how this terminology turns something which has been a problem for longer than many people have been alive into something brand new. I remember the spots where girls regularly faced the gauntlet of sexual harassment and often sexual assault in junior and senior high school. None of these spots were hidden.
The question really being asked by the story title is, “Who matters? The gropers or those being groped?” Those who label this behavior as a schoolboy prank are communicating that the gropers matter the most and the harm done to those who are groped is acceptable.
Thanks for the article, Shira. School administrators, media, and parents must understand that boys being boys can also be a form of sexual harassment that must be acknowledged and prevented. David is right. Solutions are key and calling a spade a spade and not a digging tool is the first step.
Thank you for this thoughtful, important piece. Its such a shame that from an early age, young girls are subject to unwanted advances and touching from their peers. I found the following to be especially salient “Such everyday assaults teach girls to internalize fear and shame about their bodies, and threaten to inhibit girls’ free movement through the world. “Scooping” tells boys that they can have sexual access to girls’ bodies at will. Girls become women, but the issues of shame and fear, freedom and safety, don’t disappear”. Unfortunately, I believe that many don’t acknowledge the seriousness of this issue. The issue of “groping” is one of many factors in a culture that sanctions violence, disrespect and discrimination against girls. Have you heard of Emily May’s Hollaback NYC project? This project looks at ways to combat street harrassment (and “groping) of girls, women, and LGBT folks in NYC. Thanks for writing this piece.
The issue with the media is that they cover the story, because of moral outrage and the “comedic value” that they impose on it – it boosts their ratings. Even though I didn’t see any piece on this, I can imagine the tag line “Find out what your kids have been doing at school” with the picture above.
The problem, then is when they are covering the story because it draws interest, not so much for the importance of educating on the issue, which begs the question, is a media dependent on public viewing for income truly a free media or is it dependent on doing the story in a way that will attract the most viewers? Certainly they could accomplish both objectives with moderate success by covering the topic without sensationalizing. Sadly, it is rare for many “news” organizations to go for this option – take any issue from swine flu to politics and it is tweaked to deliver the viewer.
I will never forget a jury that I sat on. We needed to determine if a crime had been committed by a mother, accused of exposing her daughters (15 and 17) to sexual acts because she and her husband and the girls all slept in the same room – explicite acts were mentioned by the prosecution. Most of the jury could not get past the moral outrage over her promiscuity – which was not on trial. They were so focused on her being “a slut” that they could not focus on the true issue – were the kids exposed to these acts or not – was there any evidence to indicate that they had (there was not). The jury was deciding if the court should send her to jail and take custody away. After hours of holding out by myself and another, we were able to get them focused on the law and not their individual mores, but I’ll never forget how hard it was to turn their heads. We miss the point a lot, as a population – we rubberneck, which enables the media.
How kids will view the issue will have a lot to do with how they are educated on it. I don’t think we will be able to change the media approach, but we certainly can educate our kids. In order to do that, we need parents to realize that their kids will have sexual feelings, regardless of their religious or moral upbringing and they universally need to be addressed, so that the idea of consent becomes universal. Teenage sex is a complex separate issue.
Personally, I’m not morally outraged at the idea of teenagers touching each other (I am surprised, frankly if they don’t – my daughter was educated on this long before she would get into that situation) – I have a problem with it being done without the partners consent – either implied or explicit. And that is why the subject needs to be discussed.
Explicate consent, while nice, is not always the mechanism – we should strive for it, but I’m not naive enough to think it can happen every time. And implied consent is a gray area. A passionate kiss could lead to mutually approved touching with one couple, but in that moment, it could only thought to be implied by one party. So kids need to understand the idea of limits, controlled by the other individual. Complex for sure, but not impossibly so.
It’s for the very fact that the media will not always represent the issue reasonably that we need to educate kids. It’s part of the toolkit we need to give them to survive – to understand the difference between sensationalization, labeling and real information.
We need to teach our kids how to have relationships with others, that are respectful and mutual. We need our schools to emphasize the secular lessons. We need religion to participate in the solution in understanding that the conversation should be held regardless of belief – but many will be focused on the issue of preventing teenage sex and not on the issue of respectful relationship (although one would hope they could go as far as talking about it as mutual – even if it’s touching a shoulder or kissing a cheek). It goes back to the larger issue of education on taboo subjects. Look, if my kid can listen to nine-inch-nails (or whatever is current – and parents, don’t think they are not, even if you forbade it), then they need to understand the whole discussion, undertones or explicit. We can educate our kids to filter the world reasonably. It only becomes more important as media becomes more prevalent and louder.
I’m always so aggravated by the use of these words, groping, now scooping–they used to call it “copping a feel”–when what it happening is actually battery. That’s a crime. Thank you for this piece, Shira.
I’m teaching my daughter that the appropriate response is to break the hand of anyone who touches her. Problem solved.
There is a difference between Sexualized violence and sexual violence and the bottom line is still violence. While the later is far more grave and an issue which deserves its own attention, the two are different but nonetheless have real implications. Groping is a specific kind of sexual violence. Other examples in our society is tea bagging and cat calls. It is an invasion of personal space and it is unwanted. To allow sexualized violence to continue greatly leads to the chance of sexual violence in the long run because these certain acts themselves are perpetrated against people with the threat of doing harm.
sadly this topic needs to be mentioned again and again.
But then again, before he became Governor, his sexual harassment issue was no longer a problem after Mr Schwarzenegger admitted he had sometimes behaved badly and that things that he then thought were playful, he now realised had offended people.
By many his offenses were not seen in a serious light then, and probably wont be now, because of what starts in schools.
@Mike: Oh, how quickly we forget. Thanks for that reminder. When California’s Governor Schwarzenegger was running for office in 2003, 6 women came forward to claim he had sexually groped them without consent. Seems Arnold’s been scooping since at least 1975. During the election campaign, the whole thing eventually got brushed aside — and that sends a powerful message about what and who we value and take seriously.
To everyone else, I’m so heartened by these comments. We’re all in it together, but especially when I read comments by guys who get it and who are working in so many ways to prevent the problem and shift social norms … what can I say? It gives me a small sigh of relief and feelings of hope. Thank you!!
and P.S. check out the Hollaback site that Courtney Young mentions. http://hollabacknyc.blogspot.com/ They have a blogroll for hollabacks in a bunch of cities and all over the world. These are take-no-sh*t blogs that call out street harassers. With photos of the perps. YAYaa!
(It also seems that some of the sites have run out of steam. Maybe folks want to get involved?)
“to KTLA reporter Lu Parker’s credit, she defined ‘scooping’ in sex-specific terms as being when a boy student grabs a girl’s breasts or touches her genitals.”
Why is that to the reporter’s credit?
There were no “gauntlets” at my schools, but I know it was going on; I wonder what all the elements are that might factor into how rampant it is.
I’m still angry about having had it done to me, but I didn’t report it; how serious would a school take a guy having had it done to him by girls? I suspect in the raunchier culture of today girls are perpetrating it even more than in the 80s, though I’d guess girls are more often the ones to whom its being done.
To C. Danzinger — Teaching your daughter a violent response to being “scooped” is absolutely not the solution. If you are a father, perhaps you would want to join a group of men and other fathers who are working to end men’s violence against women. You can work to end our culture that teaches that women and girls are “always available” to men, that they are sexual objects available for men’s use. As a man, you can talk to other men about male privilege, about the behaviors and attitudes that support “scooping,” or what many of us have always called groping.
If you are a mother, you can work with other women who are teaching our kids about gender violence, help teach our young people about consent, but at the very least, teach your own kids about these issues.
Any parent can work to transform the culture of male violence, the culture that enables boys and men to grope girls and women, to end sexual harassment on our streets, in our workplaces, and in our schools. And parents can do it in ways that do not promote violent responses.
Thanks for the excellent article Shira. And as a classmate of yours in 8th grade, I’m sorry to hear what you were going through. I, for one, had absolutely no idea that was happening
As the father of three children under 10, 2 of whom are boys, I think that education on what is and isn’t right when it comes to touching others has to start early – but we also have to be careful of not going overboard and freaking out over normal curiosity and experimentation with boundaries (note that I am NOT referring to the types of things you went through in band as being included in that category). My kids are at the stage where they are becoming aware of the differences in the genders and aren’t quite sure what to do with that. The key is to teach them to understand and embrace the differences in a healthy and respectful manner, whenever the opportunity arises, and don’t sweep things under the rug. Or at least that’s one person’s opinion.
Anyway, keep up the good work!
@Doug: Agreed. That’s why I’m working on my next book, Pleasure and Peril: Questions About Sex From the Bed and Beyond. The point is not to squelch curiosity. And there’s always a certain amount of risk that comes with sexual adventure. (Or, as Jaclyn Friedman points out, there’s risk in falling down in the shower.) If we can minimize sexual harm that means we can maximize sexual pleasure.
But — and this is the serious but — there’s a difference between sexual pleasure and sexual assault. And nonconsensual groping falls along that continuum of assault.
And P.S. @Doug: Yes, you were in the same 8th grade as me. This isn’t unique to my experience, I’m just willing to put a personal face on an otherwise abstract issue. The thing is, whether in our school or others, How is it that nobody noticed what was going on in the halls? In band? Among administrators? Why didn’t the girls know that we could speak up, and how is it that this could go on right under everyone’s nose but nobody really noticed? Or if they did, they chose to be silent bystanders?
I remember when I first heard the term “scooping” during a sexual harassment presentation to middle school students. When I told them that this constituted unwanted sexual touching which equaled sexual battery which equaled against the law, they began to point out all the boys in the class who were then criminals. After the presentation, a group of girls came up to talk with me and their stories of continuous harassment in front of school administrators was so angering. Even though schools have zero-tolerance policies, so many administrators brush it off as “kids being kids” which is even worse than “boys being boys” because it fails to recognize the gendered aspect of this behavior.
It all makes me think of what happened at Long Beach Poly late last year (http://latimesblogs.latimes.com/lanow/2009/11/five-long-beach-teens-arrested-for-groping-classmates-.html) and how each year when we bring a Sexual Assault Awareness Month program to the school we are met with barriers, skepticism and uninvolvement from most of the administration.
@Ashleigh — Thank you for bringing your feet-on-the street experience to this conversation. Administrators really need to get on the ball! But you already know that. How do we get the word out to the people who need to hear it? Are there productive models where schools get behind the issues and have buy-in and effective programs in sexual assault prevention?
Thanks for this piece, Shira. I HATE the term “scooping” it sounds like ice cream – how about fondling, groping, assault, harassment, or just being a freaking pervert? Its like saying “teasing” instead of bullying, or calling rape “a bad date.” Calling out the silence and collusion is as important as calling it what it is.
i dont understand how this is even a question of being a prank. kids have been arrested for drawing on their desk under the zero tolerance rule but not punished for touching another students genitals? ummm hello? what is going on in our school systems. and if it is dubbed a name “scooping” that means it is popular; therefore, im certain a teacher or staff member has noticed or scene something going on.
http://www.cnn.com/2010/CRIME/02/18/new.york.doodle.arrest/index.html
I agree that “Scooping” is wrong but we also need to focus on the boys who are doing this to these young girls. What makes them think that doing this is acceptable or ok? Where are they getting these ideas from? And what can we do as a society to change this? I do applaud KTLA for airing this story, but “Scooping” has been a problem that has existed for many years, it’s not just a recent phenomenon. It’s an issue that is important and needs more media coverage.
Am I the only one who found it really wierd how much the news story focussed on the parents – the school didn’t realise that the girl’s parents were upset, etc? What about the girls themselves?
It felt to me like another slap in the face – on top of being groped, you’re told “no, girls, your bodily integrity doesn’t matter a jot, but if your daddy’s getting upset about it, well… that’s a whole different story.”
The news is just not reliable. News has turned into a means of sole entertainment.It’s not news!!! And with this they contribute to the problem, a problem that in this case they dismiss as just being a kid’s prank. What the F?
When i was in elementary and even throughout my high schoolyears i both experienced and witnessed the groping. The boys would see it as a joke but then so did alot of the girls even those being harassed.I knew i hated it but i was never really sure why? Was it really something bad? All the laughs and even “giggles” contradicted me;I was confused. Five years back and watching the media tell me that it was just funny and should roll on the ground of laughter would have done it for me. I would have been forced to internalize everything. At such a young age and receiving all those contradictory messages that tell me suck it in it’s just a joke, suks! It’s like drowning in the ocean.
Thanks to Proff. Shirrah’s and her WGSS class i can reassure my thoughts and repulse at the media’s attempted “comical” aspect of this situation(PROBLEM!). In these salty waters I can breath again knowing that I was right and it was wrong.
Aaaaah yes. The scoop. Or as it should be called, overt sexual harassment and infringement of rights to one’s own body and personal space.
I, for one, never minded being goosed in high school (and I still don’t!) I just goose right back.
Ah, yes..boys will be boys and stuff their hands in places they don’t belong, let their eyes travel far beyond what has been made visible and imagine/fantasize about those “dirty” things they see in the media and/or porn when they look at these girls. So will “girls be girls” and simply swallow their pride to remain another voiceless and objectified body? This isn’t the way it SHOULD be, but this is what happens. Girls don’t want to say anything because as they look around, other boys are doing to other girls so it appears to be normal and this is just horrible. How can it be “normal” or acceptable to go to school to learn and be touched in sexual ways, especially at such a young age? The girls then believe that it means that the boy likes them which is another problem in itself. If a boy treats a girl in a negative way or abuses them, it’s a sign of affection… it’s sick if you ask me.
But does this also mean that “men will be men” and continue this behavior? Actually, yes. They learn that it’s acceptable and the girls will just take it, further perpetuating this never-ending cycle. Sadly though, these boys grow to become men and if no one takes a stand, the things they do continue or may even get worse. These actions continue more and more often like on the streets, in bars, in clubs, at work, on the bus, in a restaurant…everywhere!
I’m really glad this article was written about something that tried to spread awareness, and it didn’t do too horrible of a job (the news), but it fell short of sending the right message.
Stephen McArthur– It is not violence, Stephen, it’s self-defense. Another aspect to this problem is the teaching of girls to be passive. Until things change, girls need to be able to defend themselves. If not when they’re being grabbed, when? At what point is a woman allowed to defend herself? Is it the “violence” that bothers you, or is it a woman aggressively defending her right to not be assaulted?
I don’t know, Stephen, I used to get groped all the time when I was in high school — until the day when I tromped on a groper’s instep with my hard-soled 1980s boot. The assaults stopped *completely* after that; nobody would even think of going near me. The lack of *consequenses* lets this go on — wagging your finger at a bunch of boys and saying “Naughty, naughty!” isn’t much of a deterrent, but when women actually start defending themselves, lo and behold, men stop treating women’s bodies as though they’re public property and can be violated without repercussion.
I personally have no ethical qualms about telling people to fight back in the face of *any* kind of harassment. Sometimes, that’s the only way to get it to stop. (Besides, I’d rather be the “scary b*tch” than everybody’s favourite grope-toy.)
Thanks for the awesome piece Shira! I agree with you it is great that finally these issues are being brought up in the media. Your absolutely right the focus should be more about prevention than simply reporting the issue. Groping is groping no matter whatever hip name it is being called these days and its horrible to imagine this is happening. I personally can’t stand the “male gaze” and it has stopped me from running on the streets because I am so bothering bother by it I could not imagine getting scooped! One time I was at main street and some guy full on grabbed a girls butt walking by! I nearly jumped out of my seat to tell him something but luckily this girl slapped the guy in the face. This man was probably a young scooper growing up and felt he had the power and privilege to violate this woman but boy was he wrong. I am with you more strategies for prevention is absolutely necessary.
Groping and scooping was something that was constantly done in high school or junior high– even in elementary school! It was probably done so much that people just saw it as funny or weird that people did it. Now that we bring those issues into adulthood, it really is sexual assault. No woman or man likes to get groped, and sometimes when they do, it’s like “Nooo.. I just got groped, oh well, sucks for me.” Now, it should be seen as “That’s inapropriate and you’re sexually harassing me.” Thanks for putting this issue to rise Dr. Tarrant and KTLA! I agree!
Lorraine– careful about generalizing. “No woman or man likes to get groped” might be true for the majority of readers of this blog, but I actively enjoy it in most situations. As long as no malice is intended (which has been 99% of my experience; possibly I am blessed with good friends and acquaintances), it’s a fun way of showing playful interest for boys AND girls alike. How many girls have I seen who grab boys’ butts and spank them playfully? A lot! Groping as an expression of hostility or aggression is akin to sexual assault and should be stopped, but don’t throw out the baby with the bathwater here. And it’s not always a gender issue. In Japan, adult male teachers will be given a “kancho” by male students and the whole thing is looked upon as a silly, if annoying, game. It’s important to remember that there are degrees of everything: Too much Vitamin A can harm you, but not getting enough is just as bad.
@Kelli — A really important issue here is *consent* (!)
Consensual groping = fun. But when there isn’t mutual consent, there’s a problem. I think that’s an important distinction to add to this conversation.
i would like to thank Shira Tarrant for pointing this matter out. several girls face this problem…i remember one of relative’s daughter faced this same problem during her school days…she was barely 14 that time and felt hesitated to tell her parents about what was going on in her school. Parents must be close to their children and should be open minded so that their children don’t feel hesitated to talk about things like this.
The fact is, it doesn’t matter if it’s boys doing this to girls, boys doing this to boys, girls doing this to boys or girls doing it to girls…………it’s still not right.
It is normal to want the right to not be groped. No where in the college handbook does it say unwanted feel-ups are an integral part of higher education.
It is not socially acceptable to grope our co-workers, strangers on the street, in parks, at cocktails with friends…so why is it ok to grab without permission at a college party?
I get extremely grossed out when strangers would from behind (so there’s no way to misinterpret consents) rub my back or place their hand on the small of my waist…so I definitely support any law that prohibits anything even more private.
If you wouldn’t do it sober…don’t do it.
Am I the only one who found it really wierd how much the news story focussed on the parents – the school didn't realise that the girl's parents were upset, etc? What about the girls themselves?
I am 14 years old and a freshman girl who just recently got scooped last month by a guy who I use to date, but I broke up with him last year. He still likes me a lot and I only see him as a very close friend. We see each other all the time since his sister is my best friend in the entire world! I told my mom about him doing this and since he did it another boy who likes me thought it was funny and did it to me too. I was shocked that anyone did this to me. I’m a good girl and you would never do that to me every guy knows that. I guess I didn’t make my self clear on how I don’t want to be touched in that way. I mean the girls mess around and they smack each others butt and scoop each other all the time. It’s no big deal only if your like homosexual. I mean every guy pokes my sides and they try grinding on me at the dances, but I’m so use to that cause I see it everywhere. You kinda get use to after a while. But to go my mom told the Vice Principal that he needs to keep your freshmen class in check and keep them hands to them self so a month later I’m called down to the office about this.Now these to boys are mad at me. Me and the ex boyfriend talked it out and he understands completely and he is just mad at the Vice Principal. The other boy just mad I told the Vice Principal I don’t want the dang drama I’m here to learn not fight over this. I even told him I don’t want to press charges or get him suspended. He told me that my mom did’t want him to do anything, but he did anyways. All she wanted was to give him a warning about it. Now I guess the boys are getting all day (ISR)In School Restriction. Might be suspend and know the boys can’t come to breakfast cause the Vice Principal thinks he is going to hurt me, but I know this guy he wouldn’t. My mom even talked to his mom and he said her son probably had no intention on doing this and I agree with her he was just being a total A** that day. The good thing is his sister isn’t mad and just wants the best for us and she and I are probably going to talk to the Vice Principal. The other thing his family isn’t mad me the only one who is mad is that other boy. The ex boyfriend said his girlfriend even broke up with him today. Our school has a lot of drama! Small Town Ugh! We even have 5 other problems I could talk about maybe more than that! I’m a Social Butterfly! But what do think I should do? I need seriously help, all I want is this to go smoothly and get the Vice Principal out of our S***t! Help????????????
Hey Brooklyn – Hang in there! You have lots of support for speaking your mind and being clear about your boundaries. You’re entitled to NOT be touched when you don’t want to be touched. -Shira