Can’t We Stop Acting As If Queer Parenting Is Something New?


We can all recite the cultural fairytale about the American family: A man and a woman meet one another, date and fall in love.  Wait—let’s really go for the fairytale stereotype: He’s handsome and tall. She’s pretty and petite, perhaps just a few years younger than he. He has a well-paying job and hers is […]

“Mom, You Suck for Having Me”–New York Disparages Teen Parents


Browsing through my Twitter page I came across an ad directed at teen mothers in NYC. While seeing this ad disgusted me, I was a little relieved that I had not seen it person in my city, Brooklyn. Not only is this ad extremely offensive, it has racist, classist and sexist undertones. The ad I […]

Associated Press Honors Marriage Equality … Finally


On February 11, the Associated Press (AP) accidentally revealed a bias in its policy regarding the treatment of same-sex marriages in print. The memo—intended for internal circulation only—revealed that the popular AP stylebook suggests that journalists use the terms “partner(s)” or “couples” when describing same-sex marriages or civil unions, rather than “husband” or “wife”. The leaked memo sparked immediate […]

Men Want to Be Breadwinners–But So Do Women!

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Here’s some great news.  The vast majority of young people–about 80 percent of women and 70 percent of men across all races, classes and family backgrounds–desire an egalitarian marriage in which both partners share breadwinning, housekeeping and child rearing.  The data come from Kathleen Gerson‘s fabulous 2010 book, The Unfinished Revolution. In practice, however, egalitarian […]

Momtroversy: How Feminist Is Attachment Parenting?


About a month ago, in anticipation of starting my son on solid foods I attended a seminar at a parenting support center in Los Angeles. Of course we must make our own baby food, the lecturer began: By chopping, steaming and pureeing (defrosting batch-cooked “food cubes” was eschewed due to potential vitamin loss) we could […]

My Own True Mother’s Day


The flowers come out and the prices go up. Balloons, cards, jewelry—gifts for every price point are hawked from every storefront. Even the slick, gender-neutral Apple stores are festooned with maternal slogans come May: “Get the world’s best mom the gift to match.” But what if you don’t have the world’s best mom? What if […]

A Mama’s Day for the Rest of Us


Mother’s Day is just around the corner. This Sunday, tradition dictates that we will celebrate our moms by showering them with flowers or brunches or candy and finding a way to say “I love you.” For many, this may feel sufficient, but for more and more people, it’s not enough. I, for one, have always […]

Young Mamas Need Support, Not Stigma

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As we approach Mother’s Day (May 13), we’re inundated with celebrations of motherhood, but some kinds of mothers are not invited to the party. Hallmark cards and flower commercials rarely show queer mothers, trans mothers, stepmothers, disabled mothers or young mothers. Making matters worse, a good number of these groups are not only ignored, but actively […]

You, Too, Can Be a Queer Parent

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“Do you have to use that word?” My mother made a face that looked slightly ill. Despite being a bit insulted, I feel compassion for her plight. I know my mother loves me, but she hates the word “queer,” and really wishes I could be a little less odd, too. “What word? Queer?” She nodded […]

(Young) (Male) Americans Prefer Boy Children

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In a previous post I’ve argued against framing a preference for boy children as “culturally ‘Asian.’” New data from Gallup, sent in by Kari B., shows that this preference is alive and well among Americans, at least among men. While women are most likely to have no opinion and are about equally likely to prefer a girl […]