Is Fellatio Finished?


This just in: Blowjobs are out. That news is via Esquire, which should be an authoritative voice on the subject. In the current issue, British author Geoff Dyer reports that in an informal survey of ten of his male friends, 80 percent preferred cunnilingus to fellatio–that is, they preferred going down on their female partners […]

When the Sweet Spot Becomes a Sore Spot

sweet spot sore

Q: I’m a 21-year-old lesbian. A problem has popped up in me and my girlfriend’s sex life. When we practice tribadism with just skin, after a while a very small raw spot will show up, bringing with it a sharp pain. Both of us have this problem. Neither of us is clean-shaven, but we do […]

Whose Vagina Is It, Anyway?


Q: I’m a 32-year-old woman being driven up the wall by my fiancé always saying that he can tell I’m playing with my toys when he’s at work because I’m loose that day. I swear to him up and down that I haven’t, and even tell him the last time that I have done something […]

Dating While Feminist: An Interview with Samhita Mukhopadhyay


Samhita Mukhopadhyay is the executive editor of, one of the largest feminist or social justice blogs. Her new book, Outdated: Why Dating is Ruining Your Love Life (Seal Press) questions the traditional relationship advice so often aimed at young people. Unlike other dating manuals, her book doesn’t assume you’re straight, white, cisgendered, middle-class or looking […]

If He Could Get a “Hot” Girl, Why Would He Want a Fat Girl?

Beauty standards body image

In honor of Love Your Body Day (Wednesday, October 16), sex-and-relationships columnist Heather Corinna takes on standards of desirability around weight. Q: I’m very pretty, but overweight. Close to 200 lbs. A guy has expressed serious romantic interest in me. I know he’s usually attracted to much smaller girls. I find it very difficult to believe […]

Can Sex “Just for Fun” Be Emotionally Healthy?

Casual Sex

This week’s installment of Heather Corinna‘s sex-and-relationships advice column tackles the issue of casual sex. Q: So excited for this new blog spot! Can you discuss whether it’s emotionally healthy to have sex outside of relationships? I want to own my sexuality, but all of the advice around me seems to be no-sex-outside-of-relationships-or-marriage. I know this […]

The I-Don’t-Wanna-Use-Lube Blues


Q: Why don’t I produce enough natural lubricant during sex? There is nothing wrong with me physically. I’m 34 now, but I’ve always been like this! I’m envious of women that talk about how wet they get. Men always ask me why I don’t get that wet. I feel like something is wrong with me. […]

Can I Use the Pill By Itself?


As someone who grew up with Ms., I’m incredibly humbled and delighted to be coming in as their first online sexuality advice columnist. I’ve been providing sexuality education and advice from an inclusive, feminist perspective since the ’90s, primarily working with young people in their teens and 20s. But in a media climate in which […]

Safer Sex After 50


A new study finds women over 50 want help negotiating safer sex and need better conversations about sex with healthcare providers. This follows reports of increases in STIs amongst those over 45 over the last few years. Gasp! Women over 50 have sex! And not just inside decades-long marriages! (Figured I’d get that out of […]

“Should I Do It?” To Women Who Struggle with Porn-Driven Sex


Usually I address my writing about pornography to men, who are the majority of the consumers of sexually explicit material. But after a recent conversation with a woman friend, I was reminded of how often women who raise concerns about the sexism of pornography are discounted as being overly sensitive, prudish or unable to see […]