Much of the denialism of the sexual violence perpetrated against Israeli women on Oct. 7 is rooted in a fear that recognizing one group’s suffering may somehow take away from, or even justify, another’s. It doesn’t.

There is no perfect recipe for breaking these awful, untenable cycles of violence and retribution. But a few ingredients seem necessary, and one is a willingness to acknowledge suffering, instead of avoiding the instances of it that are inconvenient or that complicate a good-guys-versus-bad-guys narrative. One is facing difficult truths, especially those that complicate your politics or your worldview. One is refusing demands for silence, and rejecting with-us-or-against-us ultimatums.