I never thought that the president of “the land of the free,” would turn his firehose of hate on my own child. If he can target her, he can target your children too.
A version of this op-ed originally appeared on Bonnie Fuller’s Substack, “Your Body Your Choice.”
I’m writing this as a mother. Knowing that many readers are parents, aunts, uncles or loved ones to children who mean the world, I want to speak to you personally about an issue that deeply affects my family.
Normally I’m very private about my four children, but I feel compelled to respond to a hostile movement that has reached the White House, putting the rights and dignity of transgender Americans at risk.
My oldest daughter is a young trans woman, and recent political actions have left her, and many like her, feeling afraid.
In recent years, transgender Americans have been singled out and subjected to heightened scrutiny and restrictions.
- Twenty-six states have restricted access to gender-affirming care for young people, even when their parents have consulted medical professionals and believe they are acting in the best interests of their children. In Texas, for example, families can be investigated for child abuse if Attorney General Ken Paxton suspects that a minor is receiving (doctor-approved) gender-affirming care.
- At the federal level, measures have been introduced that: prevent transgender individuals from updating official documents to reflect their gender identity, making everyday activities like traveling or applying for jobs much more difficult; bar transgender people from military service; and ban trans women from competing in women’s sports. (A federal judge has placed a temporary restraining order on the Trump administration policy of cutting funding to hospitals that provide gender-affirming care to minors.)
- Earlier this month, the National Park Service removed references to transgender history from the Stonewall National Monument’s website.
The cumulative effect of these policies is not just legislative; it sends a broader societal message that transgender people aren’t entitled to the same rights as other Americans. My daughter is also afraid that restrictions on gender-affirming care for young people in some states could extend to adults, limiting access to the medical treatments that most transgender people rely on.
Transgender people make up a small fraction of the population—about 1.6 million Americans in a country of 335 million. Despite this, they have been at the center of political debates, campaign ads and legislative battles that, in many cases, portray them as a societal threat rather than as individuals simply seeking to live their lives authentically, like we all do.
My daughter, like all trans people, did not choose to be transgender. But when she realized that embracing her true identity alleviated years of internal struggle, she made the brave decision to live as herself. She is a bright, creative and compassionate woman who cares deeply about others. She rescues abandoned animals, volunteers for organizations that support transgender individuals in need, and dreams of starting a family with her partner. Even though she lives in a big cosmopolitan city, occasionally she gets harassed on the street. Mostly she lives her life, hangs out with friends, rides her bike around town and sees us: her parents and her three siblings.
Yet, for the first time since she has been living her true identity, she is afraid—and increasingly fearful about what the future holds.
I know that not everyone has a transgender person in their life, and that these issues may seem distant. But history has shown that when the rights of one marginalized group are curtailed, it can set a precedent for others. Defending the rights of transgender Americans is about ensuring that all people in our country can live with dignity, freedom and respect.
As parents, as citizens, and as people who believe in fairness, I hope we can come together to support transgender individuals in their right to exist, to be treated with respect, and to live without fear.
