Yes, The Playboy Club IS That Bad

There were so many surreal scenes in the pilot of NBC’s The Playboy Club that it is difficult to pick out the most eye-popping. Was it the “bunnies” spontaneously breaking into song, or the house mother earnestly lecturing the women to be the “very best bunny they can be,” or maybe the moment when the only black bunny (indeed the only black person in the whole show) tells her bunny comrades that her life’s dream is to be the first-ever “chocolate” Playboy centerfold?

No, I think the winner is the scene near the end where a kindly, pajama-clad Hefner ruminates about being a rebel out to change America for the better.

This is the image of “Hef” peddled to the media. He is packaged as a pioneer who courageously heralded the sexual revolution with his norm-busting magazine that helped free puritanical America of its sexual hang-ups.

The actual story of Hefner’s success is less sanguine, since Playboy’s initial popularity was based on its embrace of 1940s and ’50s sexist ideas. One of the bestselling books of this era was Philip Wylie’s Generation of Vipers, which accused women of rampant materialism and selfishness. Calling women dumb, greedy, rapacious and “an idle class,” Wylie developed the concept of “momism,” which held that American wives and mothers had gained too much power over their husbands and it was about time men fought back.

Picking up on these themes, the main article in the first issue of Playboy was called “Miss Gold-Digger of 1953.” Bemoaning the good old days when alimony was reserved for “little floozies,” the Playboy editors wrote, “When a modern day marriage ends, it doesn’t matter who’s to blame–it’s always the guy who pays and pays and pays.” This was a theme that was expressed again and again in the early years of Playboy by writers such as Burt Zollo and, of course, Philip Wylie.

As the women’s movement began to gain traction, Playboy editors realized that they needed to reinvent themselves as supporters of women’s rights, or risk being seen as a relic of a bygone era. They got off to a bumpy start when a memo by Hefner was leaked by a female secretary in 1970 that read, “What I’m interested in is the highly irrational, emotional, kookie [sic] trend that feminism has taken…these chicks are our natural enemy. It is time to do battle with them.” But over the years, Hefner has, with the help of the mainstream media, carefully crafted an image of himself as a champion of women’s sexual and economic freedom.

In place of a pornographer who got rich on objectifying women, he is cast as a sweet old man who just happens to have a penchant for women young enough to be his granddaughters. Nowhere is this clearer than in the wildly successful Girls Next Door, a program that was aired on E! Entertainment–a division of NBC–from 2005 to 2010. For six seasons, E! Entertainment offered viewers a sanitized version of what really goes on in the Playboy mansion by ignoring the subtle and not-so-subtle power differential between the fabulously wealthy Hefner and the mainly working-class young women who have little education and few job prospects.

Izabella St. James, an ex-“girlfriend” of Hefner’s, gave us some insight into what actually went on when she disclosed in her book, Bunny Tales: Many of the young women didn’t want to have sex with Hefner, but it was “part of the unspoken rules. It was almost as if we had to do it in return for all the things we had.”

It is amazing that in 2011 NBC would carry a show that glamorizes a time when women were discriminated against in virtually every area of life. For women, there is nothing nostalgic about sexism. As feminists continue to fight for equality, men like Hugh Hefner who continue to exploit women should not be held up as “visionary.” This is an insult to women everywhere.

Photo from Flickr user terren in Virginia under Creative Commons 2.0.

Comments

  1. Thanks for this post. It’s important to have a fine eye for the difference between sexual liberation and sexual exploitation.

  2. I absolutely lost it during Hef’s rumination when he said, “It was the early sixties, and the bunnies were some of the only women in the world who could be who anyone they wanted to be.” Right…as long as they wore bunny tails.

    The show also somehow made it seem like HH was in some way related to gay rights, after showing an underground meeting of “masked” homosexuals and then panning to him sitting in his chair with his voice over saying, “[The times?] were changing, and we were the ones changing it.”

    • Spent a lot of time with the Hef quote you cited over the last week as it was the most effective way to get to right the heart of the Playboy Empire’s dichotomy. Just posted an article about my mom, a former Playboy Bunny on The Daily Beast and my conversation with her actually opens with her response to that quote. Not everyone will agree with everything what my mom has to say in the article. Perhaps some wont agree with any of it. My goal in writing it, however, was to make sure mom’s story got told rather than promote a social and/or political anti-Hef retaliation. At any rate, here’s the link to the article http://bit.ly/oFY7xw I hope you get a chance to read.

  3. Scott Holman says:

    Great article! Weeks before the show aired my wife and I had discussed the premise of this show and together we thought out loud, “things are really going backwards”. Although we have not seen the show to see if it was as bad as we had feared, your article seems to indicate that our fears were well founded. We agreed that it was not just women that needed to continue the fight for equality, but men as well. The last sentence of your article says “This is an insult to women everywhere”, but I believe it is both an insult to women and men everywhere. The ultimate question is how do concerned women and men band together to stop the production of these shows in the first place. Thoughts?

    • The least we can do is stage personal boycotts of shows like this and spread the word for others to do so, too. It was especially appalling to read some reviewers (like Associate Press TV writer Frazier Moore’s) claim it’s “girl power” and the show is about women who were getting ahead.

      My own personal boycott of bad television such as this does little more than make me feel better, but I can tell anyone and everyone who will listen why they shouldn’t watch it. And I’d refer them back to this blog for a more succinct reason why they shouldn’t.

    • I came up with a way to boycott anything of relevance to you- I called it the “5 ON 5” project. The way it works is, you pick something you want to see end- maybe a TV show, or a magazine… you, and 5 of your friends swear to boycott it for one year- each person, must also recruit 5 people in a weeks time- if you multiply this times 4 weeks, each person getting 5 people within a week, it ends up being 3,056 people boycotting- now each of them do the same- the increase is huge- in boycotting a good, that say costs $5.00- at the end of a year, it could take a net profit of 2.7 million dollars- now do you think they might notice (the company who just lost 2.7 million dollars in sales) ? So, you want the show gone? Tell 5 people to tell 5 more- so on, so forth…. Start a web page, a Blog, or facebook page- get word out, get people to sign and forward!! Gather the info or a petition from the page, and forward it on to producers! REMEMBER, WE HOLD THE POWER AS CONSUMERS TO REGULATE A LOT OF THINGS- BECAUSE OUR DOLLARS? Fund what you get, and what you see!!!!

  4. Great article and documentation of the early viciously sexist articles of P-Boy! Was absolutely thrilled to see the pilot tanked so hard as to qualify as NBC’s second worst-ever premiere. Hurrah – broadcast television’s audience appears to be as nauseated by P-boys tired, sexist and boring themes as the women’s movement.

    The series would be far better as YouTube satire..

  5. Male here, and I agree with the sentiments of this article. Playboy acts like it’s high class and not sexist at all, when really it’s just smut.

  6. TV Announcer: “And next, stayed tuned for ‘The Plantation Owners,’ up next!”

    (where we will go back in time to reminisce on both sexist AND racist times, yay!)

  7. Klara Gaglia says:

    Your articles are always refreshing and succinct. I appreciate how you share your opinion not with malice, defensiveness or rage but with objective, educated openness which shows you are standing on a firm foundation of awareness, education and personal maturity. I honestly struggle with women who call themselves feminists, and some men who say they support the plight of the feminist cause, and yet watch pornography, actively prostitute or engage in prostitution and give gifts related to pornography. How do I best love and respect my friends and others who do these things without being guilty of appearing superior, smug or judgemental?

  8. Pornography is degrading to women, and there are women and men who see nothing wrong with it. It objectifies and dehumanizes women.

    • Judy Kueshner says:

      I have been fighting porn for over 25 years and during the course of that became friends with Linda Lovelace, the late star of the movie, “Deep Throat”. Her view of Hugh Hefner is quite different from the one he now tries to present (she spent a lot of time at the Playboy Mansion). Have any or you read her books, “Ordeal” and “Out of Bondage”?

      Judy

    • There is feminist pornography. There is lesbian pornography. The idea that ALL erotica is degrading and exploitative is a rad-fem idea that needs to die.

    • Martha Wenstrand says:

      wholeheartedly agree

    • Couldn’t agree with you more !!!

    • Belle of Acadia says:

      @Jessica I absolutely agree with this statement. Men become addicted to pornography, the vulvas are airbrushed, it humiliates women and gives men false ideas over what sex with real women should be like.

  9. Martha Wenstrand says:

    absolutely agree that Playboy and HH are demeaning and immoral.

  10. Janet Hudgins says:

    I agree that it is deplorable but so were the times. And unfortunately, men are still treating women that way. I only saw a few minutes of the show until the bald guy attacked the bunny, until I couldn’t handle any more, but I think it’s a good thing for people to know the truth. Perhaps it will help to expose these things and help to stop it. She said.

  11. Shirley Muney says:

    Wasn’t it Gloria Steinem, one of Ms.’s founders, who established her reputation as a journalist by becoming a Playboy bunny and then writing an expose of the whole process? And there WERE “bunny mothers” who trained & disciplined the women.

  12. Shirley Muney says:

    Wasn’t it Gloria Steinem, one of the founders of Ms. Magazine, who established her reputation as a journalist by becoming a Playboy bunny and then writing an expose of the process? And there WERE “bunny mothers” who trained & disciplined the women.

  13. When I first saw the commercials for this show I could not believe what I was seeing. I did not believe that there was going to be a show like this in the year 2011. I told my husband how bad I thought it looked, and he said I should watch it before I judged it. So, I said ok I will do that. Well, the show was worse than I thought it was going to be! I was embarrassed for the women in the show. I was embarrassed to be watching it. It was so full of stereotypes that it was laughable.The women acted dumb and the men acted like dirty old lechers.The show was awful. By the way, my husband thought it was boring.

  14. Yes, nothing glamorous about those times at all. I worked at the Playboy Club as a barely-18 year old bunny from 1978-1980 and write about how it shaped my feminism. I wrote it as a response to a piece in June on The Good Men Project wherein the Founder of that magazine said Hugh Hefner changed the world for the worse. He got a lot of pushback for that, so I decided to back up his claims with my own story to verify his article. My story here:

    http://goodmenproject.com/featured-content/when-playboy-bunnies-ruled/

  15. Whoa! Thanks for bringing us back to reality on what the Playboy Club is all about, Dr. Dines. And if Playboy–the gold standard for “tasteful” pornography–is really that hateful towards women, just think how much more hate is shown in what is truly mainstream today–e.g. Max HardCore (Shameless plug, though I’m not getting paid: for more about this buy Gail Dines’ book Pornland!).

    I’ve also written my own review of the recent film that came out glorifying Hefner for his life of social advocacy. It is really incredible propaganda. Practically had me convinced of his goodness!

    http://womononajourney.wordpress.com/2011/06/20/y

  16. I just saw a trailer for this show. It totally glamorizes being a “bunny.” Since so many women–all women really, but to different degrees–are told we’re *for* sex, this show is just going to reinforce the idea that if sex is all we’re for, we may as well make the most of it. Why not work in the sex industry, if one will be taken as for sale, as the women in the trailer are, anyway?

    It makes me so sick and sad to see what our society has come to.

  17. The anti-porn/anti-prostitution/anti-stripper school is a school of feminism that feminism should never have attached itself to, and that can’t fade away quickly enough..fortunately, it has been rather sent into decline by the rise of third-wave feminism, but unfortunately it still lingers in some circles, as seen in comments here.

    If a woman (or a man; it’s a niche market, but why do so many people act as if male strippers and male prostitutes are unicorns?) decides that she wants to be a stripper or a prostitute or a Playboy Playmate/Bunny, that is her choice to make, as much as if she chooses instead to be a neurosurgeon or a physicist or a journalist or a coal miner; there is nothing wrong with it inasmuch as it certainly interferes with no other person’s right to live her or his life as she or chooses.

    Does it “exploit” the [stripper, prostitute, etc]? Of course it does; this is true of any occupation. The surgeon is exploited for her or his ability to use her or his hands to perform surgery; the lawyer is exploited for her or his ability to use her or his mouth to win a legal case; the prostitute is exploited for her or his ability to use her or his genitals to have sex.

    Assuming one has no objection to a woman choosing some other occupation because it is “exploitative”, what, then, is the problem with a woman choosing an “exploitative” sexuality-related occupation? It’s difficult to arrive at any conclusion other than that second-wave feminists of the anti-porn school simply share at least some degree of the negativity toward sexuality held by anti-feminists of the “Moral Majority” type; that or perhaps some strange notion of women as a “weak” gender who need to be shielded from sexuality-related occupations (it does seem, after all, that opposition to this sort of thing largely ignores male strippers, male prostitutes, etc).

    There were and are concerns about Playboy (and the sex industry in general) to be addressed. It was (and still is now, four decades after Ms. Magazine started) important to recognize that it certainly should not be expected that all women should be like the women featured in Playboy, any more than all women should be expected to be mothers or housewives. To the extent that it is associated with such an expectation, Playboy (or motherhood or housewifehood) should be attacked as sexist. In and of itself, no. Gloria Steinem once said of motherhood that a person with a uterus should not be obligated to be a mother any more than a person with vocal cords should be obligated to be a singer; the idea being that it’s fine to be a mother, it’s fine not to be one, and there shouldn’t be an obligation either way to be or not be one. I strongly agree with that, and would also apply the same thinking to being in Playboy: a person with breasts should not be obligated to sexily flaunt them in nude photographs any more than a person with vocal cords should be obligated to be a singer.

    Another concern about Playboy is that it was (and, at least to some extent, still is) infected with sexism. True, but that doesn’t mean the magazine (or rather, the concept of a magazine intended as a source of pictures of naked women) should be condemned altogether, any more than Ms. (or rather, the concept of a feminist magazine) should be condemned altogether for not having fully divorced itself from the idea that feminists should write other women out of feminism for rejecting the notion that there is something wrong with choosing an occupation that involves men (and, of course, some fellow women as well) masturbating to nude photographs of them.

    The way I see it, ~40 years ago, Playboy was part of something good, society’s shift away from sexual repression, of the era of display of sexuality and nudity being treated as “wrong”, etc. Ms. Magazine was part of something good, society’s shift away from gender inequality, the treatment of women as second-class (or less) citizens, etc. The two sometimes were at odds, with some anti-feminist currents in “the sexual revolution” and with some rather needlessly sexually reactionary currents in the feminist movement, but the two were far from incompatible, and were both forces for good.

    At bottom, as lengthy as this comment is (a comment that will likely be read by few people, my having written it over a year after the earlier comments), what it all comes down to is that being a feminist/being against sexism/being in favor of gender equality does not by any means have to mean being against porn, prostitution, etc.

  18. Walter Cronkite wrote in his great review on the back of the original hard back of Outrageous Acts And Everyday Rebellions, ” For those of us who have long admired Gloria Steinem’s reportorial and writing skills,there has been a concern that that this side of her persona had taken a back seat to her activism as a feminist..” “Now we have proof that nothing has been lost,for she has combined her talents and her advocacy here in what surely must be the definitive philosophical and historical work about this movement that,belatedly,has transformed our society.”

    Coretta Scott King also wrote in her review on the back of this book,”Ms.Steinem’s book Outrageous Acts and Everyday Rebellions makes a plea for unity of purpose for persons who have been victimized by sexism and racism. Because the writer speaks to the humanity of all peoples,this book should contribute to the process of healing and unity.”

    Judy Collins wrote in her review, ” Gloria Steinem’s courage as a thinker,writer,woman,humanist,and artist shines through this collection of twenty years of her writing. She herself has changed my life with her courage to confront her fears; with her willingness to be vulnerable in the process of becoming a whole humanbeing…. Outrageous Acts and Rebellions is a treasure,and Gloria Steinem is a writer and heroine of magnitude.”

    And it’s Playboy,Hugh Hefner,pornography in general,and the whole very sexist,gender divided,gender stereotyped,woman-hating(for no rational reasons and men are mind-bogglingly born and nurtured by women) male dominated society that is the real nut job!( I wrote this in response to a woman-hater on the LA Times Blog that said Gloria has always been a nut job,in his response to Gloria saying this Playboy Club show should be boycotted) And Gloria was always beautiful inside and out and brilliant! I wrote to Gloria when I was 22 and she typed a wonderful letter back to me that her assistant told me she typed herself,and she signed it,with friendship Gloria Steinem.

    She wrote in her 1963 article when she went under cover as a Playboy Bunny as a journalist,that there were a few customers ,a very few,either men or women ,she said she counted ten,who looked at the Playboy Bunnies not as objects but smiled and nodded as if we might be humanbeings.See More You are *SO Ignorant*! Gloria Steinem was *Never* a “nut job in any way! Read a good accurate autobiography about her,and especially her own brilliant,sensible,caring important articles like in her excellent best selling book that originally came out in 1983,Outrageous Acts And Every Day Rebellions which is a collection of all of her excellent articles mostly in Ms. Magazine from the late 1960′s to 1983.

    Alan Alda says in his review on the back of this book, “This very personal book speaks simple truths that are a much needed nourishment.” “Her book is like the woman herself:inteligent,concerned,articulate,precise,and never without a sense of humor and balance.” ” It will probably make it crystal clear to you why you are a feminist- even if you wren’t one before you read it.”

    And when she was interviewed by David Hartman on Good… Morning America in 1984 and he asked her how did she feel when she was working as a Playboy bunny,and she said like a piece of meat on a hook.David asked her about The Playboy Foundation and she said it’s all based on male insecurity,and she said it teaches men that you have to sexually dominate a woman and be superior to women in order to be a real man.When David Hartman asked her what is the message Playboy Magazine says about women,she said it says men are people and women are objects.

    Her excellent book,OutRageous Acts and Everyday Rebellions,she says in her 1983 introduction section,”Eventually,dawning feminism made me understand that reporting about the phony glamour and exploitative employment policies of the Playboy Club was a useful and symbolic thing to do.” “But at the time,I had no protection against the sex jokes and changed attitudes that the Bunny article brought with it;and my heart sank whenever I was introduced as a former Playboy Bunny or found my employee photograph published with little explanation in Playboy(“Even 20 years later,both these events continue.The latter is Playboy’s long-running revenge.”) “Though I always identified emotionally with other women,including the Bunnies I worked with,I had been educated to believe that my only chance for seriousness lay in proving my difference from them.”

    And in her 1983 post script to her orginal 1963 article,I Was A Playboy Bunny,she says,”Realizing that all women are bunnies. Since feminism I’ve finally stopped regretting that I wrote this article.” Gloria also wrote in her 1963 article,I Was A Playboy Bunny,that there were a very few men and women,she said she counted ten,who smiled and nodded at the Bunnies as if they were not objects but might be humanbeings.

    She also said that Playboy continued publishing her employee photograph as a Bunny amid ever more pornographic photos of other Bunnies.She said the 1983 version insists in a caption that her article boosted Bunny recruiting.

    Rhea from the sadly former Women’s Alliance Against Pornography Education Project in Cambridge,back in January 1993 sent me many cartoons from Playboy and Penthouse of women being sexually harassed,used and sexually servicing their male bosses in the work place and they are horrible!

    I asked her what are these cartoons from,she said they are from Playboy and Penthouse. I said what are the men doing to women in the cartoons,are they raping them.She said yeah,they are all different things,you will have to see for yourself and then she said,they’re pretty bad.

    The Women’s Alliance Against Pornography put their own captions under the cartoons under a Penthouse cartoon of a man saying to his boss,who is holding a photocopy of just a woman’s huge breasts with no head,”This is my Christmas bonus? A xerox photo of your secretary’…s t**s?” THe Women’s Alliance Against Pornography wrote that Porn reduces women to the make-up of her body parts.

    The Women’s Alliance Against Pornography wrote that Men are threatened by the concept of women’s equality under a Penthouse cartoon of a woman sitting on top of a phallic type nuclear warhead sucking on it with her legs open grasped around the tip of it,and The Penthouse caption has a man in a uniform talking to another man,saying,”Miss Oppenhawn,the newest member of our staff is a nuclear warhead specialist.”

    The Women’s Alliance Against Pornography wrote that Porn teaches men that the only way of succeeding is by prostituting herself thereby removing the threat of equality.They wrote this under a Penthouse cartoon of a woman journalist with her hand in a man’s pants, and the Penthouse caption said,”Here I am again folks,out scooping those male journalists by interviewing an otherwise unapproachable diplomat.I suppose you’re all wondering how I do it.”Another from Playboy has a female employee with an upset humiliated expression on her face standing in front of her male boss’s desk with papers in her hand that she’s leaning on his desk, and the male boss says to her,”I had the most asmusing dream last night.Miss Grant-I dreamed you performed an unnatural sex act upon me.”

    Another Penthouse cartoon shows a woman standing outside of her boss’s office with the word President on the door and she’s talking to another woman,her co-worker and she has a huge candy cain stuck in her backside,and she says to her co-worker,”I guess you can’t expect much of a Chrstmas Bonus this year.”The Women’s Alliance Against Pornography wrote under this,Pornography elicits contempt for women.

    A cartoon from Playboy had a male boss with an angry expression on his face barricading a woman employee on her desk with both of his arms around her,and she’s leaning away from him with a screaming upset expression on her face.The Women’s Alliance Against Pornography included this cartoon under their heading,Pornography elicits contempt for women.

    Another Playboy cartoon has a woman military officer looking upset and humiliated standing with two male military officers while one of them cuts her uniform off into pieces and she’s nude.There are other women military officers standing further in the backround on the side.The Playboy caption says,”Usually we just cut off the buttons.”

    Another from Penthouse has a male news caster sitting at a news desk reporting the news with a woman with big breasts in a low cut top sitting next to him.Penthouse’s caption has the male news caster saying, “Chet Carey here bringing you the news along with Miss Clover to provide relief by displaying her t*ts.”Another Penthouse cartoon has male doctors operating on a patient,while only a woman’s lower part of her body and legs are shown under one of the male doctors clothes,and their caption has him saying,”More suction”.

    The Women’s Alliance Against Pornography wrote under these that Woman’s only attributes are in her sexuality.Another cartoon from Penthouse has a nude big busted woman in bed with her male boss,and he’s smoking his after sex cigarette and she says,”Incidentally,I’m sorry I turned you in at the office for sexual harassment!”

    Another from Playboy has a male boss sitting behind a desk with a sign up behind him that says,Last-Minute Suggestions and his female employee is walking away holding a folder in her hand with an upset expression on her face,and the she says,”*Please* Mr.Fergusen! You can keep those last minute suggestions to yourself!.”

    Psychiatrist Linnea Smith sent me two huge folders of important research and information on the harms of pornography(she thanked me for my important efforts educating people on the harms of porn,and she said it’s especially difficult because the public is desensitized,and the media is reluctant to criticize other media,especially sexually explicit media) back when I wrote her and told her about my experience as a big busted beautiful 13 year old girl being molested by teen boys who used Playboy and how they even made references to the women in it and how one of the boys shoved a pornographic magazine into my face and said,here’s a picture of a girl fingering herself.

    Included in the research Dr.Smith sent me was other Playboy cartoons of women being sexually harassed on the job by their male bosses.Dr.Smith wrote on top of this photocopied page which has these cartoons on both sides, Job Harassment Sexual Harassment In The Workplace Has Been For Years A Popular Them For Cartoons In *Playboy* Magazine.One of these cartoons is of an overweight male boss with his femalke employee with an upset expression on her face trying to push him away and the caption has him saying,”Ms Beasly why are you resisting I voted for the ERA.”(the Equal Rights Amendment that was never passed).Another has a male boss in his office saying to his female employee,You want equality? Next time we’ll do it on your desk.”

    Playboy also promoted child sex abuse, including ,gang rapes of women and children,incest, and sexual murders of women and children as normal and as jokes in thousands of cartoons,articles and even some pictures for over 30 years! Check out psychiatrist Linnea Smith’s excellent site talkintrash she has a section,Another Look At Centerfolds where she has *tons* of strong excellent research studies on harms of pornography!

    Playboy also promoted child sex abuse, including ,gang rapes of women and children,incest, and sexual murders of women and children as normal and as jokes in thousands of cartoons,articles and even some pictures for over 30 years!

  19. I can’t understand how so many sexist songs about women were taken as “normal”. We grew up in families headed by men…God forbid you had brothers. The “male privilege” was horrendous in my family of origin.

    We had to be subjected to sexist songs (like “Treat Her Like a Lady”). That song used to make me cringe, privately and in public. One of my male friends leaned over to turn the music up when it played on the radio. We had a big fight about that. There were so many sexist songs.

    Interesting…the one I always hated the most was Paul McCartney’s, “Just Another Day”, indicating that women wait by the phone for a man to call…if he doesn’t she is devastated…her world revolves around it…she is nothing and very sad if he does not. HELL’S BELLS !! The song played over the loud-speaker in Price Chopper the last time I was there…in 2012!! Women are overjoyed to keep men out of the lives once they are given equal opportunities for status, jobs, education, adventure…

    “Sir” Paul McCartney was never my favorite beatle and he is less to me now. I do appreciate his fight for animal rights, but some woman (maybe his daughter) should chastise him (and maybe she has) about a song where a woman’s identity and happiness depend on a male.

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