Women have been told by doctors that our symptoms are just post-childbirth changes, gut health, perimenopause or menopause—but colorectal screening saves lives.
I’ve come to the edge of losing my life. Twice.
I was losing blood when I pooped, had an increased urgency to go to the bathroom, became anemic, and my poop smelled extra, like rotting flesh. Yet every doctor and medical professional in my life dismissed me, chalking up my symptoms to challenges women experience post-childbirth. Even though I was bleeding out of my butt like I was having a period every day, doctors told me that my “cute” hemorrhoids were at fault. They suggested working on my gut health with Activia as they hurried to the next patient.
As a seemingly healthy 39-year-old mom of three young boys, five years after I first questioned what was happening to my body with my doctor, I was diagnosed with rectal cancer—and it had advanced to stage 3. A lime-sized tumor had gone undetected. I realized something I knew the whole time: I am not crazy; I know my body better than anyone else. My gut was right—something was very wrong.
One doctor, a gastroenterologist at UCLA, finally saw me. She knew that from 1995 to 2019, new cases of colorectal cancer nearly doubled—going from 11 percent to 20 percent for Americans younger than 55—resulting in a new standard of care that required colonoscopies beginning at age 45. She knew this disease had become the leading cause of cancer deaths for Americans 20 to 49 years old. She ordered a colonoscopy for me that detected stage 3 cancer, which was validated with biopsies, CT and MRI scans.
It is urgent: If you are experiencing even one of the symptoms—like bloody stool, stomach pain, urgency to go, and/or anemia causing fatigue—go straight to your doctor and ask to be screened. If the doctors push back or minimize your concerns, keep going.
Women never take no for an answer when it comes to sticking up for our best friend, parent, life partner or child. We need to be that same fierce advocate for ourselves.
Many of you have been told by doctors that it is just post-childbirth changes, gut health, perimenopause or menopause—but colorectal screening saves lives. Women are especially resilient and tough, and never take no for an answer when it comes to sticking up for our best friend, parent, life partner, child, or anyone else who matters. We need to be that same fierce advocate for ourselves.
Let my journey fuel your fire. I understand how it can feel when a doctor doesn’t listen to you. For me, there were times I felt relief when doctors minimized my symptoms because I so desperately wanted to be okay, to live normally, and to believe that something wasn’t wrong. But once I found out I had cancer, time was not on my side. The chance for early intervention was gone.
The truth is, if only I had been heard and seen, if my doctors had taken action to find out what was wrong in my body, my cancer treatment would have been entirely avoidable. After all, colorectal cancers are largely preventable with early detection. I promise that pooping in a box or getting a colonoscopy is much easier than the alternatives—things like having your poop pour out through an ileostomy or colostomy bag for the rest of your life. That is, if you survive.
The delayed testing and diagnosis led to a long healing road for me: 12 rounds of chemo, 28 days of radiation and oral chemo, two major surgeries, four months of an ileostomy bag and continual scans, bloodwork and an endless cycle awaiting results, all to know the cancer is not back.
During treatment, I returned to what made me feel most connected to my purpose in life and what became a spark through the darkness: music and the people it connects. Musicians capture what is true about the human spirit manifested in their own chosen medium, style and tone. As a lifelong musician, music made me feel most alive, connected to others and in tune with my core life purpose, and helped me leave memories with the people I loved most if I didn’t survive the battle. I knew that turning to song and building my children’s memories of singing with me would leave all of us at peace as I faced surgery and my own mortality. My family made playlists together because music always helped me process the moments that mattered most in my life.
Singing fueled my mindset, processed the anger, connected our family, and gave me the strength to face the gruesome side effects.
I worked full-time throughout my entire cancer treatment as chief people officer for a growing tech company. I immediately let everyone in our close community and at the company know of my diagnosis. I took calls and sent emails as the chemo trickled into my body until I couldn’t keep up with the side effects during infusions. I kept my team moving forward as I fought for my life.
After sharing about my cancer diagnosis, I saw people in my life face their fears and fight to be screened. It likely saved their lives. I want you to do the same.
Last month was Colorectal Cancer Awareness Month—a fact I did not know before my diagnosis. I never had to. I want you to know what I didn’t at the time: that instances of colorectal cancer in seemingly healthy people in their 20s, 30s and 40s like me are skyrocketing. Last year at this time, I noticed celebrities wearing blue ribbons in honor of colorectal cancer as I watched the Academy Awards from my couch recovering. The year before, I was watching from a hospital bed.
I’m dreaming of the day I walk the red carpet wearing my own blue ribbon to spread awareness. When we show up for others and bravely share our stories, we have the chance to change lives.
Wearing my blue ribbon out for the first time last month, I met so many people with a personal story about colorectal cancer: a friend diagnosed one week ago with rectal cancer, a relative they never got to meet because she died at 41 from colon cancer, a continual battle with their doctor when denied a colonoscopy and circling back with excitement once they fought to get their screening scheduled.
Fifty percent of us will be diagnosed with cancer in our lifetime. So, I’m inviting you to prioritize yourself; know the symptoms, and if you know something is off in your body, do not give up until your healthcare team finds the answers.
As a family, we’re committed to sharing our story with the hope of helping people battling illness, supporting children growing up too fast, overcoming societal stigmas and speaking out about butt cancer. Transformation is real.
My husband, Josh, and I told our three little boys everything from the day we found out, naming the tumor Earl after The Chicks’ song “Goodbye Earl.” Since Earl died, It’s been two years of clear tests and a long list of side effects that could have been avoided with earlier diagnosis: infertility, early-age menopause, children facing the fear of losing their mom, and other limitations that impact my life every day physically, mentally and emotionally. People like me and my family are never the same after facing their cancer, and yet, we survivors are grateful to be living every day.
I’m singing out to encourage people to take preventative action to promote their own health and wellness. Fifty percent of us will be diagnosed with cancer in our lifetime. So, I’m inviting you to prioritize yourself; know the symptoms, and if you know something is off in your body, do not give up until your healthcare team finds the answers.
Be seen—no matter the adversity you face when standing up for your well-being. If you don’t feel satisfied with the solution you’ve been given, continue to advocate and speak up.
Thank you for listening to my voice. Please share your story with me if you’re willing to speak up. And for today, as we spread colorectal cancer awareness, I invite you to take the pledge to take care of yourself by scheduling a doctor’s appointment to share your family history, set up a colonoscopy or fecal test, like Cologuard, and be seen.
Your life depends on it.
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