A growing number of men understand they can’t ignore the power they hold in society—not a power earned, but one received at birth simply by arriving on the planet in male-identified bodies.
Since the presidential campaign shake-up in July, the national conversation about manhood has been abuzz with talk of a “new” masculinity, embodied by good, decent men like Tim Walz and Doug Emhoff. What’s actually new, though, is what’s coming into focus: the consequences of 50 years of men’s hard work to redefine manhood.
Masculinity has too often been narrowly characterized as poisonous misogyny, with many men seen as patriarchal MAGA heads. The rest of us, apparently, just stand by mute, unwilling to challenge the bigots and bullies. That’s a lie. All men—including “white dudes”—have been taking back the narrative.
While it’s refreshing to hear the Democratic vice presidential nominee, Gov. Walz, and Second Gentleman Doug Emhoff cited as models of this “new” masculinity, it’s far from new. Men have successfully been crafting strategies to break out of the man box since the mid-1970s.
Nearly everyone is aware of the bad news about “toxic” masculinity, from men like Andrew Tate to groups like the Proud Boys. Few, though, know the good news—men’s efforts to redefine manhood.
Time for a little history.
For 50 years, a growing number of men across all races and ethnicities have followed women in working to prevent domestic and sexual violence, protect reproductive rights and redefine and transform traditional ideas about manhood, fatherhood and brotherhood.
The antisexist men’s movement incorporates a range of men’s experiences, including boys on the journey to manhood and fathering, male survivors and men overcoming violence, men of color and LGBTQ+ men. Woven together, over the decades we’ve created a multilayered tapestry of one of the most important social change movements you may never have heard of.
There are men and women around the world working day in and day out for gender equality. Globally, the campaign is united under the banner of the MenEngage Alliance, a network of more than 1,000 members in 88 countries. In North America, organizations like Equimundo, Next Gen Men, Fathering Together, A Call to Men and Men4Choice have been transforming our idealistic aspirations into concrete action for years.
There certainly are men who feel marginalized, deeply resentful of women’s gains. Andrew Yarrow’s Man Out: Men on the Sidelines of American Life empathizes with men who are distressed about their place in contemporary society. They’re highly susceptible to being seduced by traditional manhood, characterized by Trump’s and Vance’s unhinged bluster.
By contrast, Emhoff and Walz represent men able to integrate being steady and strong and tender and vulnerable. As a high school teacher, Walz simultaneously coached football and advised a gay straight alliance.
For as far as men have come, we could still be doing more—especially since we spend considerably less time on both childcare and housework than women do. Nevertheless, there’s a bright spot. The MenCare Campaign, operating in dozens of countries around the world, successfully engages men as fathers and caregivers to advance gender equality.
Today, more men understand that we can’t ignore the power we hold in society—not a power we earned, but one we received at birth simply by arriving on the planet in male-identified bodies.
Relinquishing our grip on privilege and entitlement, the twin symbols of that power, is not easy. Men fear losing control, having less and the unknown—wondering, What will my life look like if I am not in charge? It’s time for men to take a leap of faith and trust that our lives will be enriched in ways we can’t imagine if we loosen our grip and share the reins. Or, Goddess forbid, we hand them over to women—perhaps beginning in November with Kamala Harris.
Men are rejecting a fixed definition of masculinity and replacing it with an emotionally rich expression of masculinities. We are navigating our lives with open eyes and open hearts, beginning to see the contours of a manhood that celebrates rather than dreads men’s tears and uncertainties. Men can now better negotiate the gender landscape on surer footing, bear witness to women’s lives and understand both women’s realities and our own.
Masculinity based on domination and emotional rigidity has failed men. For five decades, men have been working to replace those traits with compassion and vulnerability. That’s the masculinity inspiring men not just to move forward, but to unambiguously declare, “We are not going back.”
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