Fatherhood

Popular images and assumptions about fatherhood are often intertwined with problematic attitudes about gender, sex, power and heteronormativity. However, fathers and men are essential in the fight for gender equality.

The First, First Gentleman: Breaking More Than One Glass Ceiling

First ladies, while unofficial in title, have been unofficially tasked with hosting state dinners, advocating for social and philanthropic causes, and managing the White House’s image, without ever getting paid or recognized the way they should be. It’s a microcosm of the way our society still places these expectations on women in domestic spaces. Even though this labor is essential, it is often taken for granted.

Now, imagine a man stepping into this role. If a first gentleman were to perform these duties, it might force the country to rethink why these responsibilities were so heavily feminized in the first place. And even more so, it might make people question why this type of labor—whether done in the White House or in everyday homes—has been undervalued for so long.

New Ad Creates ‘Permission Structure’ for Men to Support Harris

Among the most memorable ads of the political season are a pair of 30-second spots with explicitly gendered themes featuring voiceovers from two of America’s most beloved movie stars. The ads each play on the idea of “permission structures,” the assumption that voters sometimes need to be given permission to vote for a candidate or party that is not popular with their social group.

During this election cycle, Democrats and Democratic-aligned groups seem finally to have figured out that they need to respond, in part by creating a special kind of permission structure for men to support them. Permission for men to vote for their values and conscience just might make a difference in what promises to be a very close election.

‘That’s My Dad!’: Helping Men Find Purpose in an Angry World

Young men in the U.S. are in an existential crisis, and from even the most casual browsing of their online spaces, their anger and loneliness are obvious. For these male biological challenges, we need empathy and understanding. For the social constructions of masculinity, the way we raise boys and socialize men, we need a bold, new social project. As grandiose as it may sound, men are seeking purpose. 

(This essay is part of a Women & Democracy multimedia package focused on Gen Z and student voters. The future envisioned by young leaders is bright—it’s built on reproductive rights, bodily autonomy, sustainability, freedom from violence and economic opportunity. Explore essays, a brand-new podcast, videos and more from some of your most loved [or soon to be!] influencers and writers, brought to you by Ms., DoSomething, the nonprofit that helps make volunteerism “cool,” and The Anthem Awards, the social impact arm of The Webbys.)

The ‘New’ Masculinity Is Actually 50 Years Old

Since the presidential campaign shake-up in July, the national conversation about manhood has been abuzz with talk of a “new” masculinity, embodied by good, decent men like Tim Walz and Doug Emhoff. What’s actually new, though, is what’s coming into focus: the consequences of 50 years of men’s hard work to redefine manhood.

A growing number of men across all races and ethnicities have followed women in working to prevent domestic and sexual violence, protect reproductive rights and redefine and transform traditional ideas about manhood, fatherhood and brotherhood. Men are rejecting a fixed definition of masculinity and replacing it with an emotionally rich expression of masculinities.

Promise Keepers Revival? The Ms. Q&A With Jackson Katz on the Trump-Era Resurgence of the Largest Organized Men’s Movement

In the 1990s, Promise Keepers were an evangelical group of Christian men who pledged to keep their promises to their wives and children in exchange for female submission and service. Relatively apolitical at the time, Promise Keepers even pledged to work toward “racial reconciliation.”

Filling football stadiums, evangelical men and boys felt safe to cry and hug, while reaffirming each other’s masculinity and entitlement to male dominance. By the end of the 1990s, Promise Keepers had faded from the headlines, but now thirty years later they are staging a revival. 

Ms. sat down with Jackson Katz to get his take on the Promise Keepers revival. “Elements on the Trumpist right understand very well that right-wing, white evangelical men are an incredibly important constituency within the larger MAGA coalition. … The ‘crisis in masculinity’ has now become a crisis in democracy.”

Tim Walz’s DNC Speech Was a Masculinity-Themed Populist Pep Talk

Democratic vice presidential nominee Tim Walz introduced himself to the country with a rousing acceptance speech at the DNC. He used blunt, evocative language as one might expect from a man who’s been a high school teacher, Army master sergeant, football coach and politician.

Once he had established himself as a powerful, confident man and assertive leader, Walz was ready to pivot to Kamala Harris’ qualities of leadership and why he supports her, helping her to rebuild her identity as a tough prosecutor. Perhaps more than anything, this is the role that Walz plays on the Democratic ticket. His very presence and persona says to men—including some fairly traditional white men in the Midwestern battleground states—that Kamala Harris is someone they, too, can and should support. 

The Paradox of JD Vance’s Misogyny

The collective female rage in response to JD Vance using the “childless cat lady” archetype as an insult is driven by shared hurt at the mockery that reduces us to our reproductive capacity in a political context where women are already devalued. It demeans our dreams and aspirations outside motherhood. It seems small, but those three words carry so much emotional weight for us.

The fight is exhausting and there will come a time when I stop. But I pray that other women fight. All of us—intentionally childfree, mothers, delayed in motherhood, deprived of motherhood, stepmothers, more—certainly have a stake in the future: a hope that we may be cherished, not for the services our bodies offer men and society at large, but merely for our humanity and the women we are.

Flipping the Script on True Crime: The Ms. Q&A With Author Kristine S. Ervin

Kristine S. Ervin was 8 when her mother was abducted from a mall parking lot, murdered and abandoned in an Oklahoma oil field. In her debut memoir Rabbit Heart, Ervin resists the true crime trope of exploiting and glorifying femicide and instead delves into the emotional toll her mother’s death took on her and her family. We sat down recently to talk about her book, growing up motherless, how this informed her life’s gender power dynamics and her evolution from being a feminist-skeptic to writing what is undeniably a deeply feminist memoir.

“I see this as a grief memoir, a motherless daughter memoir, a memoir that is meant to show what 25 years of unrelenting, brutal grief looks like when you are the loved one of a victim and you don’t have answers.”

Texas’ Abortion Ban Nearly Killed His Wife. Now He’s Speaking Out.

Ryan Hamilton had to race his wife to the hospital after she had a miscarriage, fell unconscious, and started bleeding out on their bathroom floor. Here, he explains what happened.

“What happened to us here in Texas should not be normalized—what happened to my wife was nothing ‘normal.’ I think the Texas abortion law has made it gray and confusing for doctors. … I want women to be protected and miscarriage and abortion to be between a woman and her doctor. Period.

“It should be something a family feels safe to go through. I want to do my part in undoing these barbaric laws and go back to where women can get the care they need. My wife was a victim and the horrible reality here is this could happen to anyone.”

Elder Care Law Is Not Designed for Working Mothers in the Sandwich Generation

Being a working mom of children doing virtual school during the pandemic, also in the middle of a graduate degree, and suddenly caring for a delusional and aggressive senior parent, while being forced to educate every single business on what guardianship legally appointed me to do was overwhelming.

Why do businesses expect a senior citizen diagnosed with an irreversible disease of the mind to make financial or health decisions? Why wasn’t the court order enough? Because a woman with legal power isn’t enough. 

Working mothers and adult daughters who make up the majority of the sandwich generation need the ability to also care for their own mental and physical well-being to avoid burnout.