Go to Your Womb

Participants at the Women’s March in St. Paul, Minn., in January 2017. (Fibonacci Blue)

The best defense against rape is to contain your delight.
If you think you have been raped
please contact your congressman or senator
to determine if your rape
(yours—you own it) was legitimate

By legitimate we mean forcible
as opposed to unenforceable
we do not enforce or endorse rape
but we will force you to bear your rapist’s child
the child must not be punished
the child must have a womb of its own

Should it be verified that you have experienced legitimate rape
you may be relieved to know that the chances of this attack
resulting in pregnancy are very low according to pseudo-science 

When has so much attention ever been paid to the womb
& efforts to delight it
usually a woman is responsible for delighting her own womb

A delighted womb does not wander

This womb is too easily delighted
This womb is too difficult to delight
This womb is legitimately delighted
The wombat rarely exhibits delight
Goldilocks’ womb is just right

If you are pregnant there is a high probability that your womb
has been delighted
your womb may be delighted right now
if you do not know whether or not your womb is delighted
please consult the nearest male politician.

Inspired by “The Sexual Spirit of ‘76” by Gail Collins and by Representative Todd Akin.

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Deborah Hauser is the author of Ennui: From the Diagnostic and Statistical Field Guide of Feminine Disorders. Her poems and book reviews have appeared in Women’s Review of Books, Kenyon Review, Prairie Schooner, Cassandra: Suffolk Community College Literary Journal, Focus: Stony Brook University Women's Studies Department Literary Journal, and Bellevue Literary Review.. She has taught literature and writing at Stony Brook University and Suffolk County Community College. She curates and hosts a monthly reading series at Jack Jack’s Coffee House for the Babylon Village Arts Council and is the Secretary of the Suffolk County Chapter of NOW. She leads a double life on Long Island where she works in the insurance industry.