Growing up in an Orlando suburb, D remembers being stripped naked, bent over his parents’ laps and spanked with a plastic spatula that had “tough love” written on it in black Sharpie. This punishment persisted through D’s childhood, at times making it uncomfortable for him to sit the next day.
“Spanking evolved into things like grounding and taking things away, taking meals away, replacing meals with bread and water, kneeling on rice in a corner facing the wall,” says D, who asked to remain anonymous because he is afraid of retaliation from his mother for speaking out. Now 29 years old, D has permanent nerve damage and walks with a cane.
And while this abuse was emotionally and physically devastating, it was legal. This is because corporal punishment is legal nationwide inside the home and in public schools in 17 states. According to the World Health Organization, corporal punishment includes hitting, smacking, slapping and spanking children with a hand or an object such as a whip, stick, belt, shoe or wooden spoon. But it can also involve kicking, shaking, throwing, scratching, pinching, biting, burning or scalding children, as well as pulling hair, forcing children to stay in uncomfortable positions or forced ingestion.
Corporal punishment is illegal in 68 countries, with Thailand being the most recent to ban it. And since 1989, the United Nations Committee on the Rights of the Child has advocated for the end of the practice. But on American soil, it is estimated that over 160,000 children are subjected to these punishments at school every year.
Multiple studies suggest LGBTQ kids experience violence and emotional abuse from parents at a higher rate than their counterparts. “[Many parents] have this perspective that they don’t want their child to be LGBTQ, and that somehow this violence will help prevent them from becoming gay or trans.”