The fact that many U.S. children remain without the basic right to decide whether, when and whom to marry is a stain on our national conscience—but it’s a problem we can solve.
There’s no romance in being a child bride. And whether the “groom” is R. Kelly, with his marriage to 15-year-old Aaliyah, your great-grandmother, or Justine (name changed for protection)—a minor married to a man twice her age in the state of Maryland—more often than not, these marriages are a form of child abuse … government-sanctioned child abuse, in some states.
Child marriage remains legal in well over half of all U.S. states, with over 300,000 minors married between 2000 and 2018. Every year, hundreds of children of every gender, ethnicity and religious background are married, with no regard for their consent. “Groom” might be the technical term in these marriages, but “grooming” is more accurate.
The fact that state and federal law allows these marriages to happen, affects people we work with on a daily basis at the Tahirih Justice Center. People like Justine, whose mom appeared to be the “perfect soccer mom” on the outside, while forcing her daughter to marry a man who raped her on her “wedding night” and many times thereafter. No one suspected the abuse Justine was dealing with at home.
Others, like Mona*, were married and forced to withdraw from school, sent to live with their “spouses” far from friends and community. They disappear from classrooms without a trace, leaving their friends and teachers to wonder. Again, few ask the questions these young people so desperately need asked. Even if they did, child protective agencies are often ill-equipped to offer the right answers, or support.
The Child Marriage Prevention Act, introduced in August by U.S. Senate Majority Whip Dick Durbin (D-Ill.) and U.S. Senators Brian Schatz (D-Hawaii) and Kirsten Gillibrand (D-N.Y.), is a historic and critical step that would go a long way towards ending child marriage in the United States.
According to a forthcoming Tahirih Justice Center report, 35 states have passed laws to limit or end child marriage since 2016. In 2018, Delaware became the first state to ban child marriage entirely, setting a minimum marriage age of 18 with no exceptions. Twelve other states have also done so, including Virginia. But 37 states and the District of Columbia still allow some form of child marriage, as some states that have added restrictions allow exceptions.
The Child Marriage Prevention Act would start correcting the systemic failures that allow children to be married without their consent and without anyone stepping in and saying no. It requires a National Commission to Combat Child Marriage to examine the impact of this form of child abuse in the U.S. and create a roadmap for its elimination. It sets minimum age requirements for spouse and fiancée visas to prevent children from being married solely for immigration purposes and prohibits child marriage on federal properties.
Recognizing that, in our federalist system, the states decide who can marry on U.S. soil, the Senate bill incentivizes states to ban child marriage through STOP (services, training, officers and prosecutors) and SASP (sexual assault services) formula grants, and offers a model state law, as well as grants to develop effective and holistic approaches at the state and local levels. The state task forces are particularly critical, as they would fund studies and the development of policy in states that have not yet banned child marriage. The goal is to prevent child marriage and empower children at risk, as well as minors who are already married, so they can get—and stay—safe.
I’ll never forget Ana, the high school student who desperately wanted to find help to avoid the threat of a forced marriage she was facing. She only had a few minutes to use a friend’s phone between classes, because she had no other way to communicate safely and confidentially. Our call ended abruptly, when a school official told her to get off the phone; I never heard from her again. To this day, I am haunted by the thought that she may have never gotten the help she so obviously needed and deserved.
The Tahirih Justice Center, in partnership with survivor advocates and our allies in the movement to end gender-based violence, are advocating for swift passage of the Child Marriage Prevention Act because everyone should have the right to decide whether, when and whom to marry. The fact that children in so many states plus the District of Columbia, today, remain without this basic guarantee is a stain on our national conscience, but it’s a problem we can solve.
Editor’s note: All survivor names have been changed to protect confidentiality.
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