Front & Center is a groundbreaking series amplifying the voices of Black women navigating poverty—highlighting their struggles, resilience and dreams as they care for their families, build careers and challenge systems not built for their success. Now in its fourth year, Front & Center is a collaboration between Ms. and Springboard to Opportunities, a nonprofit based in Jackson, Miss., working alongside residents of federally subsidized housing as they pursue their goals. The first-person accounts in this series are available for reprint. Find additional guidelines at the end of this story.
My name is Deneader, and I live in a big subsidized apartment complex in Jackson, Miss. I’m 37 years old now. Sometimes I still catch myself and say 36, but yes, I’m now 37. I’m a mother to three kids: two girls and a boy.
My oldest, Zaniyah, just turned 12 this August. Then there’s my son, Zaiden—he’s 9. My youngest is Tamara, who’s 3 years old and full of energy.
Life with my kids is busy, but we have our little traditions that keep us close as a family. One thing we all enjoy is getting together in the kitchen to make treats—that’s really the only time they’re interested in what’s going on in there. Our favorite things to make together are dipped strawberries and candy grapes. We take sugar, a little corn syrup and some water, then let it all come to a boil until it gets sticky and thick. Once that happens, we dip the grapes in, let the syrup coat them, and then roll them in a crunchy topping.
Right now, I’m searching for that right job so I can get back on my feet. I think a lot about going back to school, but my youngest needs me. Tamara is still little and having her at home takes up most of my focus.
To be honest, my main goal in life is to be a great mom to my kids. They can’t see me fail, because they depend on me. They don’t have anyone else to depend on.
My kids are my pride and joy—truly, they’re my motivation. They are amazing, and make me want to be a better person. Even when I have tough days or feel overwhelmed, just looking at them gets me up in the morning and helps me keep going.
Raising them on my own isn’t easy, but I remind myself that they depend on me, and that keeps me pushing forward no matter what.
I do have a small support system, mainly family. My mom helps out the best she can. There’s also my kids’ grandmother, who I consider a friend as well, and she helps me out a lot.
Outside of that, to be honest, I don’t have many other family members around or involved with us, but we make it work with the people we do have. I really appreciate any help I get, and I don’t take it for granted because I know not everyone even has that much.
I think a lot about going back to school, but my youngest needs me. Tamara is still little and having her at home takes up most of my focus.
A lot of the time, I feel good—like I’m getting things under control and moving forward. Other days, I get down or feel tired and stuck, but then I remind myself that my babies need me to keep showing up for them. They bring me joy. They’re the reason I push through.
My goals right now are pretty simple. Like I said, first and foremost: to be a wonderful mom. I also want to get back on my feet fully and become a better person. I know the first step will be finding the right job—something stable, something that allows me to take care of my family. I don’t want to live in low-income housing forever. I know some people do it, but I want more for us. I want to give my kids new experiences and maybe even take some trips together. For me, success would be making those dreams possible for them, so that’s what I’m working toward.
Front and Center pieces are free to republish, under the following guidelines:
- At the top of your reprint, include a line that reads: “Front and Center is a series of op-eds published by Ms. magazine and created in partnership with Springboard to Opportunities and Magnolia Mother’s Trust.“
- You may also republish the photographs included in this story.
- If you share republished stories on social media, we’d appreciate being tagged in your posts. You can find Ms. on Twitter @MsMagazine, on Instagram @ms_magazine and on Facebook. Springboard to Opportunities is on Twitter @SpringboardToOp, on Instagram @springboard_to and on Facebook.
Have questions on the series? Read more here, and direct specific questions to Katie Fleischer at kfleischer@msmagazine.com.
