Minimizing domestic violence—like in the Combs trial—reflects a broader cultural and political failure to take survivors’ pain, safety and justice seriously.
“It’s just domestic violence.”
“They did not have a good relationship.”
If I had a dime for every utterance of those repulsive, dismissive sentiments from TV pundits and legal experts about the details in the Sean “Diddy” Combs trial in New York, I would donate it to the Department of Justice’s Office on Violence Against Women, to reinvigorate paused funding.
That is because the cultural affinity for survivor diminishment, as demonstrated in this case, is aligned to the White House administration’s latest reduction of monetary, social, healthcare, housing and legal support for those experiencing domestic violence.
During the Combs trial on five criminal charges that is expected to last late into the summer, visual details and testimonies have emerged about his violence-fueled 11-year relationship with Cassandra “Cassie” Ventura.
The infamous 2016 surveillance footage caught on the InterContinental Hotel camera of Combs dragging Ventura down the hall and beating her, has been yawned away by many as a private matter, merely a sidetracking annoyance in an unhealthy relationship.
It is more than that. The physical violence is an assault that violates Ventura’s humanity, just as it does to the nearly 41 percent of women in this country, and 26 percent of men, who in their lifetimes experience physical violence, sexual violence or stalking by an intimate partner, according to the the Centers for Disease Control.
Certainly, domestic violence is a separate legal issue from the charges of racketeering conspiracy, sex trafficking by force, fraud or coercion and transportation to engage in prostitution facing Combs.
But it is severe nonetheless. Domestic violence indeed bears a consequence of lifelong trauma for the 640 million women age 15 and older in the world who are survivors of intimate partner abuse, according to the United Nations. And to dismiss its impact and minimize legal and financial support for those trapped in its toxic grip is immoral.
Every 10 minutes a woman is killed by an intimate partner somewhere in the world. In the U.S., 70 women are shot and killed every month by an intimate partner.
In addition to funding slashes, the literal dismissal of the case may be on the table as President Donald Trump says an eventual executive pardon for Combs is a possibility.
That attitude is in symmetry with a January executive order stopping all funding for emergency orders of protection. A lawsuit followed, putting a restraining order on the pause.
Updates to funding are on the Office of Violence Against Women’s website, where it announces delivering $684 million in funding to 880 grant awardees in 2024, all delivered under the Biden administration.
To offer pretense of support, the OVW recently announced 19 Notices of Funding Opportunities “to combat domestic and dating violence, sexual assault, and stalking.” Noteworthy is the reality that the funding opportunities for the 32 discretionary programs are all marked full, except for five that say “invitation only” and one that is for new applicants only.
That is a myopic view of the pervasiveness of intimate partner violence in this country, where an estimated 24 people per minute—men and women—experience intimate partner violence.
At the Combs trial, the additional testimony of his former assistant called “Mia” was also harrowing as the defense team appeared to intentionally attempt to humiliate her.
Attorney Brian Steel accused Mia of performing a “#MeToo money-grab,” in alleging Diddy was violent to her on multiple occasions when she worked for him from 2009 to 2017. The claims of Combs’ violence by another former girlfriend, Bryana Bongolan, also inspired eye-rolling.
This tenor of this case harkens back to the aggressive misogyny and survivor gaslighting inside and outside the courtroom during the 2022 Johnny Depp trial when Depp sued ex-wife Amber Heard for $50 million for defamation because she wrote an op-ed about her experience with domestic violence. Heard stopped working in Hollywood, and moved to Spain, where in the last three years she became the mother of twins. Depp’s career has not faltered.
The callous reaction many survivors receive—as demonstrated in the Combs and Depp trials—is why only half of victims report abuse at all.
Thirty years ago this July, I sought an emergency order of protection against my husband of nine years, when my sons were 6, 4 and 1. I am extraordinarily lucky as I was employed, never in danger of being unhoused or without resources and had full support of my extended family and friends. My move followed 12 years of couples counseling that I believed would stop the episodic violence. I was wrong.
My life is very good, but the residue remains. As research shows, the body and heart remember.
“I hope that my testimony has given strength and a voice to other survivors, and can help others who have suffered to speak up and also heal from abuse and fear,” Ventura said from the witness stand.
Going forward in fairness and compassion, perhaps the comments about the Combs trial can shift from the flippant, “It’s just domestic violence,” to the more humane, “Domestic violence isn’t just.”
