Karlonda runs a business and raises two daughters, but losing after-school care means fewer hours to work and less money to cover the bills.
Editor’s note: Front and Center is a groundbreaking series of op-eds—published by Ms., created in partnership with the Magnolia Mother’s Trust—which aims to put front and center the voices of Black women most affected by the often-abstract policies currently debated at the national level. The series highlights the success of Springboard to Opportunities’ trust, which since 2019 has given $1,000 per month for 12 months to about 100 families per year, all headed by Black women living in federally subsidized housing.
What possibilities could open up for low-income families if financial survival weren’t always top of mind? What dreams would these mothers and families be able to pursue? What activism and community leadership might arise? The series will answer these and other questions, by placing one mother’s story front and center. (The first-person accounts in this series are available for reprint. Find additional guidelines at the end of this story.)
I have two daughters and I am expecting a son soon. I am also a cosmetologist. Right now, I run my business from home because the salon where I rented a room was hit by a car. I had to start over with everything.
Working from home is better for me in a lot of ways. The salon was about 20 minutes from my house. At home, my kids can be in their comfort zone and I don’t have to pay overhead or rent. I have an area designated for my work, and I can move around my children’s schedules.
Flexibility is one of the best things about working for myself. I have a dental assistant certification and a personal assistant certification. I have also worked in childcare. But the main thing is being able to call my own shots and work on my own.
I have always been drawn to work where I can make people feel good. I like to give off good energy and put people in a better mood. Everybody is going through something. I like to see people come in feeling one way and leave feeling better.
I have a dental assistant certification and a personal assistant certification. I have also worked in childcare. … I was never offered paid time off or benefits in those jobs.
The hardest part is being patient with people because everybody is different. Not everybody catches on as quickly as others. You have to learn how to deal with people, read people and adjust to others. Sometimes it can take an emotional toll because you never know how somebody else is feeling or how they are going to react.
The pay in those care jobs did not match the work. As a dental assistant, I felt like I was doing a lot and not getting paid enough. In childcare, I also felt like I was doing so much and being dedicated to the job, but I still was not meeting ends meet. I was still struggling and trying to figure things out.
I do not think people see those positions as important as other jobs, even though everybody holds each other together. In dental assisting, I worked personally with the dentist. I set up everything, prepared the room, brought patients in, took their blood pressure and sometimes gave them medication. In childcare, the people actually caring for the babies do so much. Without people like us, it would be harder for people to feel comfortable going to the dentist or taking their children to daycare.
I was never offered paid time off or benefits in those jobs. I had to pay out of pocket or use Medicaid. Higher pay would have helped. Paid time off would have helped. Insurance is very important in America. Those are the things that would have made those jobs feel more sustainable.
At home, I care for my children every day. I make breakfast for my daughters before they go to school, make their lunches and make sure they eat dinner when they get home. I try to have structure in my house. Somebody has to get in the tub at a certain time. The dishes have to be washed before a certain time. Homework comes before anything and everybody gets in bed on schedule.
I want my children to be respectful. I want them to live a childlike life, but I also want them to be respectful to adults, not just their parents. What children learn at home takes them far. I want to help them understand life and how to treat other people.
This year, my daughters did not qualify for breakfast and lunch at school. I would have had to pay $3 per meal, per child, so I packed their lunches instead. That is another expense and another responsibility.
I also lost my childcare voucher. When my children were in after-school care, they stayed until 5 p.m. That gave me more time to work, make money and do the things I needed to do. Now, they get out of school at 2:30, and I have to be in the car rider line by 2 or I will be all the way up the street. I had to switch my whole routine and my whole life around.
(Editor’s note: The Trump administration is reportedly eyeing changes to the childcare voucher system that would make it harder for single, low-income parents to receive benefits.)
My SNAP was recently cut by about $400. … It felt like everything was getting cut: vouchers, SNAP and other help. … The government programs that are out there could be cut overnight.
It is harder because I have to take that time out and put my children first. I do not want to put that on anyone else because these are my children. I do what I have to do. But after-school care was helping me work. It was giving me more flexibility.
I would like more stability with child support. I feel like child support should be offered as soon as the baby is born, not take a drawn-out court battle.
I have a great father. He has always been in my life. It is hard for me to watch my daughters’ fathers be in and out or not help. Children need their fathers, regardless of the money. But if a father is not helping or is not in the child’s life, child support should be mandatory. Benefits like food stamps should not be cut just because child support is coming in. Children need support.
My SNAP was recently cut by about $400. At that time, it felt like everything was getting cut: vouchers, SNAP and other help. Sometimes you do not know what is going on unless you go up there and ask for yourself. Normally, you might get a letter in the mail, but recently I did not get an explanation.
TANF is a good program, but it does not pay enough for what it asks you to do. It placed me in some good jobs, but I still was not getting paid enough. Sometimes I did not even have gas to get to work.
When I had my daughters, I did not get paid parental leave. I had to save money while I was pregnant because I knew I was not going to get any paid leave. I took six weeks off, but I was penny-pinching because I still had to provide and pay bills.
Six weeks is not a long time. I feel like I missed out on bonding with my babies because I had to go back to work so quickly.
Every job should offer maternity leave. Most jobs do not really care about people who are pregnant or what they may be going through. Being pregnant is not a walk in the park, and every pregnancy is different. Even if a job does not have a lot to offer, it should at least offer information about what the state provides or what resources are available.
This time around, I have been saving, and I have more support. My son’s father has been helping a lot. I feel like I have someone who cares more this time, so it will be better.
The Magnolia Mother’s Trust has also helped me. It gave me stability. I chose to keep a portion back each month in my savings. Having that added resource made me think, “I need to be saving money. I need to be doing this. I need to be doing that.” You have to be able to take care of your children because the government programs that are out there could be cut overnight.
Being a caregiver can affect my mental health sometimes because I am always putting my children first. But I know I have to put myself first in order to put my children first. When they are in school, I take time for exercise, a little yoga and myself.
Caregiving also makes me want to be more involved in my community. I see people who have children and I know you never really know what someone is going through until you talk to them. If I see somebody who needs help, I try to help. I have seen a woman walking her children to school and taken the time to give them a ride. Kids are innocent.
Care, to me, is helping others without looking for anything in return. It is genuinely helping people out of the kindness of your heart. People are not always genuine anymore. They are always looking for something: “Are you going to pay me for this?” or “Are you going to do this?”
I think we need more spaces where people can come together and talk about what is going on in life. When people are around others who understand them, it can bring positive energy. Even with everything negative going on, positivity can spread.
I believe caring is being genuine with people and with the people around you. That is what care means to me.
Front and Center pieces are free to republish, under the following guidelines:
- At the top of your reprint, include a line that reads: “Front and Center is a series of op-eds published by Ms. magazine and created in partnership with Springboard to Opportunities and Magnolia Mother’s Trust.“
- You may also republish the art, photographs and video included in this story.
- If you share republished stories on social media, Ms. magazine and Springboard to Opportunities would appreciate being tagged in your posts.
Have questions on the series? Read more here, and direct specific questions to Katie Fleischer at kfleischer@msmagazine.com.
