Author: Amy Polacko

Amy Polacko is a divorce coach and journalist who also runs a support group for single/divorced women. She worked on the Pulitzer Prize-winning team covering the TWA Flight 800 crash for Newsday. A single mom, she’s writing her first book Don’t Fall for a Con: How to Spot Narcissists and Sociopaths Before It’s Too Late. Learn more about Polacko and her mission at www.freedomwarrior.info.

Why the ‘Tradwife’ Life Is More Dangerous Than Ever Before

They were soulmates. At least that’s what Olivia thought—and Brad said. When they reconnected over a decade later, it seemed like fate.

Brad was charismatic. Within a couple years, Olivia was pregnant, and Brad wanted her to stay home. “He didn’t use the term ‘tradwife’ but that’s what he wanted,” she said, referring to the social media trend glorifying the traditional wife of the 1950s who tends the home and has no financial independence. “I felt like a slave. He expected me to keep the house clean while caring for our baby. … If I didn’t wear makeup and have my hair done, he would ask why. … The only thing with my name on it was a joint Costco card.”

After he cheated multiple times, they got divorced and she got no alimony. Brad lives in a comfortable home thanks to his well-paying job. Olivia lives in a trailer.

“If you refrain from building your own success, it’s very dangerous,” she said. “Being a ‘tradwife’ is like playing Russian roulette.”

‘Hysterical’ Women Out for Revenge: Family Court’s Misogynistic Tropes Traumatize Women and Children

The misogynist trope of the “hysterical woman out for revenge” is used quite effectively by coercive controlling abusers—and, as a result, some women lose custody of their children and are financially ruined.

“It’s more comfortable to accept the explanation that women are crazy, rather than that many men are violent,” said attorney Suzanne Zaccour, director of legal affairs at the National Association of Women in the Law in Ottawa.

But the tide is turning, as notable cases like Catherine Kassenoff’s emerge, highlighting institutional gender bias in family courts.

Lawyers Say Catherine Kassenoff’s Case—and Thousands of Others—Violate U.S. Constitutional Right to Due Process

During Catherine Kassenoff’s last call with her lawyer Harold Burke, she was distraught by the latest court ruling that terminated all contact with her daughters. Burke assured her they could fight the decision “just like Sylvia did” and thought he had convinced her to hang on in the battle they were waging in family court. He was wrong. 

Sylvia Lee lost custody of her children in 2012 after her husband claimed to “fear for their safety.” In 2016, the New York Court of Appeals reversed the decision.

Lawyers like Burke are taking up the fight for court reform on behalf of Catherine and other mothers, they said, because what’s happening violates federal civil rights law: Courts routinely deny women’s constitutional right to due process—a right the U.S. Supreme Court has stated includes “an opportunity to be heard”—and have lost their children because of it.

Experts Say Catherine Kassenoff’s Family Court Case Should Alarm America

Dr. Bandy Lee—who warned the country about Donald Trump—calls the family court system another threat to our democracy.

Lee had been in touch with Catherine Kassenoff, the New York mother and attorney ended her life through assisted suicide over Memorial Day Weekend because she couldn’t fight for custody of her daughters any longer. “What family courts have enabled is the ability of abusers—through the accusation that the other parent is alienating them from their children—to reverse the victim and offender,” Lee said. “It is an abuser’s dream come true to be labeled the good one and to accuse their victims of their own guilt and own crimes—and also to call the healthy person mentally ill.” 

Allan Kassenoff Resigns After Public Outcry Over Wife Catherine’s Apparent Suicide

Since news of New York attorney and mother Catherine Kassenoff’s reported assisted suicide in Switzerland, her husband’s former employer—the law firm Greenberg Traurig—has been in the hot seat. Late Sunday night, the law firm released a statement announcing Allan Kassenoff’s resignation. In her goodbye letter, Catherine singled out the firm as one of the ways her husband allegedly dominated their court case: “The more I fought to show these materials to the public and to the Courts, the more I was punished for daring to make such accusations against a rich, white man and Greenberg Traurig shareholder.”

Many of Catherine’s supporters applauded the decision, but the victory is bittersweet. “It is sad, but no one helps us while we are alive,” said Elizabeth Harding Weinstein, Catherine’s friend and a court reform advocate.

Remembering Catherine Kassenoff and Continuing the Fight for Fair U.S. Child Custody Outcomes

Why would a brilliant attorney and mother of three take her own life? Because the dysfunctional U.S. family court system took her kids and drove her—like so many others—over the edge.

If a superwoman like Catherine Kassenoff—who had grit, plus training as an elite legal mind—was defeated by our American family court system, what does that say for the rest of women terrorized and victimized?

Take it From a Divorce Coach and Attorney: Ending No-Fault Divorce Is a Scary Suggestion

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No-fault divorce aims to provide a fair and equitable approach to marital dissolution by removing the need to assign blame or prove wrong-doing in order to obtain the divorce.

As a society, we recognize that not all relationships are forever. Now, conservative leaders in states like Louisiana, Texas and Nebraska want to get rid of no-fault divorce, in some cases introducing bills that would transform us back to the world of fault-based battles. What many people don’t understand is this would be absolutely catastrophic—especially for women. 

Forget His Roses—You’re Better Off Single

Sixty-one percent of single women say they are content with being solo, while only 49 percent of single men said the same. Sixty-five percent of men said they were not looking for a partner, compared to 75 percent of women who said their singledom was a choice. The single life actually extends women’s lifespan; men, however, live longer if hitched. So if you’re a woman, don’t bother. 

Am I upset about having no beau on Valentine’s Day? When the drug store cashier asked about my (lack of) a husband, did I run straight to the tissue aisle? Or lose it when settled snugly in my car? Hell no. In fact, my mind went to the poor women in unhappy marriages and toxic relationships who don’t know how incredible it feels on the outside.