Dear “Incel” Guys: Try Feminism for a Change

I invite you to stand against male violence—including the violence of your fellow Incels. I invite you, in the words of the Women’s International League for Peace and Freedom, to “listen to women for a change.”

10 Dos and Don’ts for White Guys in the Era of Trump

Fellow white guys: let’s stay engaged. Sustainably. Accountably.

Me, Myself and Bi

Fifteen years ago, I met the love of my life, Lucinda Atherton. Then, as now, I was a spokesperson for the National Organization for Men Against Sexism, an organization that is pro-feminist, gay-affirming and anti-racist. Then, as now, I worked to stop men’s violence against women, drawing the connections between homophobia and sexism. A proponent […]

We Saw You, Boob

Seth McFarlane’s hosting of the Oscars has been roundly criticized.  As a man who works to stop violence against women, I want to add my voice to the chorus. I wasn’t upset because his humor was “risqué” or “too edgy,” as some critics charge. Quite the opposite – far from being edgy, his schtick was […]

Dear 18-Year-Old Me …

(Trigger warning for descriptions of abuse.) The amazing folks at the National Domestic Violence Awareness Month Tumblr are featuring a blog a day for Teen Dating Violence Awareness Month (February). I was inspired by the post from February 1, authored by “Anonymous, 31” to offer my own response. Here are both: Dear 17-year-old me, Yes, […]

How Some Men Harass Women Online and What Other Men Can Do to Stop It

(Trigger warning: for abusive, woman-hating language and threats of violence) When I write about feminism and men’s violence against women, I often receive supportive comments. While some of the praise is earned, much of it gives me a lot of credit for doing very little. When women write about those same topics, it’s a different […]

Men’s Manifesto 2012

I’m proud to be a part of a growing movement—a multiracial, multicultural, global movement of men who are challenging male violence and outdated notions of masculinity. I have been inspired by, taught by and befriended by men across the world who have dedicated their lives to reducing male violence. Men and boys around the world […]

“Nice Guys” Contribute to Rape Culture

Daniel Tosh makes jokes that support rape culture and he’s defended as a “nice guy” while feminists are threatened with rape for pointing it out. Joe Paterno is accused of participating in a cover up of child rape and his “legend” legacy is defended while Sandusky’s victims are slandered. Misconceptions about sexual and domestic violence […]

Group Opposes VAWA Because Act Helps Lesbians

Need another reason to support Violence Against Women Act (VAWA) reauthorization? Concerned Women for America (CWA) is against it. Yes, the same group that opposes abortion and most forms of birth control [PDF], as well as all LGBT rights: marriage, civil unions, domestic partnerships, adoption and hate crimes protection. For their “dubious” anti-gay statements–including equating […]

10,000 Men Supporting VAWA

Every 12 seconds in the United States, a man abuses the woman he has promised to love. Every two minutes in the U.S., a man rapes a woman–usually a woman he knows. But most men don’t rape; most of us don’t abuse. Yet we remain silent and consider these issues “women’s issues.”  As White Ribbon […]

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