Doug Emhoff as the potential first first gentleman could spark a broader conversation about how much “women’s work” has been taken for granted—not just at home, but in society at large.
The Global First Ladies Alliance, created in 2009, is essentially a support network of the spouses of heads of state from around the world. The “school for first ladies” is open to men as well, but has never had a first gentleman attend. Every year, it coincides with the United Nations General Assembly in New York, where these spouses gather to share experiences and strategies for managing their unique role. And what role is that? Well, you could say it’s an extension of what society has long assigned to women: homemaking, but on a global stage. Except now it includes managing everything from the (White) household to philanthropy—without the perk of an official title or paycheck.
While may people are caught up in the possibility of the U.S. electing its first female president, I’m intrigued by what it might mean to finally have a first gentleman. Even considering such a symbol in the White House can help to finally shine a light on the undervalued, unpaid work traditionally shouldered by first ladies, and by extension, the invisible labor many women across America perform. Could this spark a broader conversation about how much “women’s work” has been taken for granted—not just at home but in society at large?
It’s about time we start imagining what that shift could look like.
What Would a First Gentleman Mean for Gender Roles in America?
The excitement around potentially having a female president is understandably the focus of many of today’s feminist conversations, but the introduction of a first gentleman might be equally as groundbreaking in how it challenges gender norms. For too long, we’ve seen first ladies carry out a long list of tasks that mirror what society has traditionally expected from women: being the emotional backbone, the household manager and the keeper of appearances—both literal and symbolic.
These roles come with a lot of invisible labor. First ladies, while unofficial in title, have been unofficially tasked with hosting state dinners, advocating for social and philanthropic causes, and managing the White House’s image, without ever getting paid or recognized the way they should be. It’s a microcosm of the way our society still places these expectations on women in domestic spaces. Even though this labor is essential, it is often taken for granted.
Now, imagine a man stepping into this role. If a first gentleman were to perform these duties, it might force the country to rethink why these responsibilities were so heavily feminized in the first place. And even more so, it might make people question why this type of labor—whether done in the White House or in everyday homes—has been undervalued for so long.
For too long, we’ve seen first ladies carry out a long list of tasks that mirror what society has traditionally expected from women: being the emotional backbone, the household manager and the keeper of appearances.
Unpaid Labor: The Elephant in Every Room
The idea that unpaid labor is somehow “lesser” is one of the biggest problems women face, both at home and in society. When a man steps into the spotlight and takes on tasks traditionally seen as “women’s work”—organizing events, managing the household, being the emotional support—it has a ripple effect. Sadly, this may be what it takes to help people to finally start recognizing these tasks as real work that deserves acknowledgment and compensation.
Even if a first gentleman doesn’t take on the traditional duties himself, and instead he chooses to delegate or even advocate for these roles to become paid professional positions, that is still impactful. Both scenarios would force a larger reckoning with the way we undervalue labor that is essential but unpaid.
Look around, and you’ll see that most women in America are still doing the lion’s share of unpaid work, whether it’s taking care of the kids, managing the home or doing the emotional labor that keeps relationships—both political and personal—afloat. Even when women work full-time at their paying jobs, they’re expected to juggle these responsibilities. It’s 2024, and somehow, we’re still here.
A first gentleman could highlight these disparities in a very public way. He might be just the high-profile example we need to finally start valuing women’s contributions, not just in the workplace but in every corner of American life.
Emotional Labor: Still a Woman’s Job?
We need to talk about emotional labor, too: the invisible work of managing not just your own feelings but everyone else’s as well. Women have been doing this forever—whether it’s in their families, at work or in social situations. They’ve been expected to be the peacemakers, the supporters, the ones who smooth out the rough edges for everyone else.
Now, imagine a man being expected to do that in the White House. Would a first gentleman handle the emotional dynamics of the presidential staff, or would he support the president’s public image by managing the softer, human side of things? If he did, it could set a new precedent: Emotional labor isn’t just for women.
If men were more widely expected to engage in this kind of work—whether in their relationships or their workplaces—it could help alleviate the burden women have been carrying for so long. Emotional labor needs to be seen as a shared responsibility, not something that’s automatically dumped on women just because of societal expectations.
It could set a new precedent: Emotional labor isn’t just for women.
A New Era for Gender Roles
For decades, women have been told they can do anything, including reaching the highest levels of political office. And we’re seeing that happen. But we haven’t had the same conversation about men taking on traditionally “feminine” roles. As women break through barriers in the workplace, men need to start taking on their share of household and emotional labor. Gender equality works both ways.
A first gentleman might finally push that conversation forward. As women continue to step into roles historically dominated by men, it’s time for men to step into roles traditionally held by women—whether in the home or in the public eye.
We also need to rethink the expectations specifically for a first spouse. Many of the tasks given to first ladies—managing events, overseeing staff, taking on public-facing duties—are comparable to high-level roles in the private sector. So why are we still treating these roles as volunteer work when they’re happening in the White House?
A first gentleman could be the catalyst for these discussions. By stepping into the role—or challenging it—he could help reshape how we view labor, both paid and unpaid, in American society.
Conclusion: A Step Toward True Equality
The prospect of a first gentleman isn’t just a novelty—it’s an opportunity for a larger conversation about gender roles, unpaid labor and emotional work. As we imagine what it would mean for a man to step into this traditionally female role, we also have the chance to challenge our deep-seated assumptions about “women’s work” in both public and private life.
At the same time, the inclusion of a first gentleman in structures like the Global First Ladies Alliance could further prompt global rethinking about the value of labor performed by spouses of world leaders.
By redefining the first spouse role—whether through advocating for professionalization or simply by doing the work—a first gentleman could help accelerate a cultural shift toward greater gender equality. After all, true equality is not just about breaking barriers in the Oval Office; it’s about sharing the labor that happens behind the scenes as well.
It’s time to redefine what it means to do “women’s work”—because, as a first gentleman could show us, it’s work for everyone.
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