Jalyn, a mother of two in Jackson, Miss., shares how support from the Magnolia Mother’s Trust helped her heal, set goals and envision a better future for her family.
A groundbreaking Ms. series, Front & Center first began as first-person accounts of Black mothers living in Jackson, Miss., receiving a guaranteed income from Springboard to Opportunities’ Magnolia Mother’s Trust (MMT). Moving into the fourth year and next phase of this series, the aim is to expand our focus beyond a single policy intervention to include a broader examination of systemic issues impacting Black women experiencing poverty. This means diving deeper into the interconnected challenges they face—including navigating the existing safety net; healthcare, childcare and elder care; and the importance of mental, physical and spiritual well-being. The first-person accounts in this series are available for reprint. Find additional guidelines at the end of this story.
My name is Jalyn, and I’m a 27-year-old mother of two amazing boys, Dylan and Dawson. We live here in Jackson, Mississippi. Dylan is 8, and he is all energy, my wild man! Dawson is 6 and my calm in the storm, with a contagious smile that can light up any room.
Every Friday, my boys and I have a special ritual. We go get snow cones and head to the snow park. We walk around, talk about our week and do affirmations. We discuss what we can do better, with each other and for ourselves. If I messed up, they let me know, and we talk about it. If I feel like they need to improve, we discuss that, too. We just play the rest of the evening.
It’s always been me and the boys, so I’ve been prideful. I’m trying to step away from that, because I don’t easily let people get close. I have abandonment and neglect issues, so I don’t always feel like people will truly be there for me. I worry there will be a trick at the end. But I do have a good support system, and I’m very grateful for the ones who are in my life.
On most days, I’m about a seven or eight on a scale of one to 10 in terms of how I’m feeling. I try to wake up on a good note every morning because my mood affects my kids. If I wake up upset, they’re going to wake up upset. So I try to be happy. Of course, things change throughout the day, but most of the time, I’m happy.
I recently found out about the Magnolia Mother’s Trust, and it really helped me set some goals. One was to get a vehicle and the other to save as much money as possible. I went nearly two years without a car, walking everywhere or catching rides. Now that I have a car, I can find a good job.
I’m not usually so forward-focused; in the past I’ve tended to just go with the flow. Writing down my goals and how I’m going to help myself—that’s been really good for me.
The day I got the call that I would be part of the latest round of the Trust, I was still grieving. It was a week after my best friend was killed, so I was really in my feelings. I was happy about the opportunity, but I couldn’t fully show it because I was overwhelmed with sadness. I was laying on the couch crying when I got the call. So, it was a bit of goodness for me in a dark time.
I don’t always feel like people will truly be there for me. I worry there will be a trick at the end.
Being a mother means nourishing, loving and being present. I vowed to my kids that I will always be present. I don’t want them to ever feel like I felt growing up. But a mother can also be someone who never had kids. As long as you have that love and know how to nurture and protect a child, that’s what matters.
I dream of going back to school and finishing my criminal justice degree. I fell short because of hard times. But I’m going back this year! I want to make my kids proud. If I can do it, they can do it, too. It’s not easy, but it’s not hard, either. You just have to push. As long as you have that mindset, you’re going to make it. Black motherhood, or any motherhood—it doesn’t depend on skin color or nationality. It’s about having that “I want to make it, we’re going to make it” mindset.
My dream job would be to give my time to helping teenagers. I want to open a 24-hour teen center, a safe space where they can come and go as they please. Teens need a break, just like parents do. They need someone to hear them out, and I want to be that voice for them, to help guide them on a better path.
I know what it’s like to feel lost. When I was a teen, my mom started truck driving, and I felt like nobody was there. I felt neglected, abandoned and I started getting into trouble because I was looking for something, anything, elsewhere. The streets had open arms for me. I don’t want that to be an option for the kids growing up now. There’s so much happening in this world. If I can help them avoid what I went through, I will do everything I can.
Giving back brings me so much joy, because people were there for me, and it helped me become who I am today. So, if I can do the same, it might help somebody else—whether it’s telling my story or just giving someone something to eat. You never know what anyone is going through. So, any time I feel like I can give, I do it, with no expectation of anything in return. Just giving and showing love.
Front and Center pieces are free to republish, under the following guidelines:
- At the top of your reprint, include a line that reads: “Front and Center is a series of op-eds published by Ms. magazine and created in partnership with Springboard to Opportunities and Magnolia Mother’s Trust.“
- You may also republish the photographs included in this story.
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Have questions on the series? Read more here, and direct specific questions to Katie Fleischer at kfleischer@msmagazine.com.
